Simon Williams

I'll be making an appearance at a Second Chances rally in San Francisco this weekend. I hope to see you all there.

The number of fans I have who remember me as "Mr. Muscles" both dismays and disappoints me. Mostly the former.

And neither can my agent, on pain of being thrown into the sun, so don't try to ask him about this, either.

I can neither confirm nor deny that I am being cast to play myself in the new Avengers movie.

Ran into Schwarzburger the other day. I have to admit, he's looking good for his age.

I've been offered a role in the new Arkon reboot, but I'm not sure I should take it. I don't need more trouble with the real Arkon.

My lunch date with Ginger went well. I could tell right away that she's still as... ah... exuberant as ever.

I don't know where you are right now, Eric, but please... turn yourself in. Mom & I both want you to put an end to this bitterness of yours.

Sorry, Neal, but saving lives is a little more important than attending the premier of my new movie, don't you think?

.@CBHawkeye's barbeques make me glad I have an ionic stomach.

You're dressed like an armadillo. I'm not quite Thor. Do you want me to do the math, or are you ready to give up?

Sometimes I think Spider would have become my biggest stalker if Neal hadn't already made him my so-called sidekick.