Elijah (@_e_c_g) header
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Just when you thought I couldn't get worse, I'm a consultant now.

Berlin
Joined March 2010
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Yaaaasss yonic tablescapes Martha
The holiday season is one of my favorite times to entertain. Earlier this week, I hosted a small business dinner for seven. My Winter House was decorated with lots of beautiful trees glistening in green, silver, and gold. Chef Molly Wenk and I collaborated on a wonderful menu. See today’s themarthablog.com.
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Nearly went out choking on a peanut. It really is the Bush years again
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I never get tired of the fact that Martha’s tweets lately all seem to be written for someone with a sprawling estate that they don’t know what to do with
Weeping willows are wide and tall with graceful curtains of drooping branches that sweep the ground. If you have the space near a brook or stream, consider planting weeping willows. See today’s themarthablog.com.
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Eurovision literally a trisha paytas lookalike contest this year
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Love Martha’s money-saving tips for running my orchard
If you’re looking to plant fruit trees in your yard, consider planting bare-root specimens - less expensive and very manageable. See how I planted bare-root fruit trees in my orchard on today’s themarthablog.com. #treesofantiquity
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This gives me a great idea for a scam targeting seniors
Sorry, old folks. You're even more on your own.
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If anyone was wondering, my hands basically look like Timmée’s (long elegant fingers, fucked up cuticles)
During the 'Beautiful Boy' promotional tour when Timmy came to Playa Vista, I gave him a mini jade mala bracelet. As a Buddhist, I "had" dozens upon dozens of mala bead necklaces and bracelets. I was wearing three mala bracelets when I ran out of my house before it burned down in the Eaton Fire. So I know the value and sentimental beauty of these bracelets. Jade represents nobility and wealth. I told him I hope he likes it and find a purpose to wear it, and he said in all seriousness, "You know I will". That was back in 2018. Looks like he found a purpose to wear it in Berlin in 2025. 👍🏾🪷 #TimothéeChalamet
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All fun and games to dunk on her for not knowing what aristocracy is until someone asks you to define “builder grade” and “kitchenette”
shein polyester fur and a builder grade Lowe's kitchenette is soooo old money
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I’m even skinnier than him and that’s why I didn’t get cast as Wonka
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She and Adam Neumann would match each others’ freak so exquisitely
BREAKING: Marie Gluesenkamp Perez is one of very few Democrats who won in a heavily red district. Make sure every American sees this video showing off her successful playbook.
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Being a 90s gay stereotype is honestly so much more fun than being a 2020s gay stereotype. Like YES I am fighting with my boyfriend because he does not want to discuss whether we need a meat grinder attachment for our KitchenAid because he is at work as a HAIR AND MAKEUP ARTIST
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Menopausal women:
Unexpectedly hot again and about to make it everyone’s problem.
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This is exactly why I believe that ALL higher education should take place in the Boston metropolitan area
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Not to Leave-post, but did let out a genuine gasp of delight when I unscrewed a bottle cap in the UK and it actually came all the way off
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If not for being vice president, Kamala would be an all-timer Serious Eats contributor
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The only good part of twitter any more is how once a month there’s a day when the algorithm figures out all I want to see is pictures of cate blanchett looking beautiful
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It’s honestly crazy to me that Melissa Clark’s babka recipe hasn’t spawned an entire generation of cafes that just exist to sell it by the slice
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The most immutable law of Berlin is that if you leave the house you WILL see a white person with dreads
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I love when hot people have birthdays like yessss repost two dozen stories featuring never before seen pictures of you
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Not Joerge W. Biden
The real "Joe Biden" has been in Venice harvesting honey for years
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