Ms. Demeanor

Oh yes sir, I'm definitely arresting you for DUI because I "haven't had a good lay recently." Like I've never heard that one before. 😒😒

Welp guys, I can officially say I’ve joined the law enforcement divorce club. 2020 can eat a bag of dicks lol. Has this year been good for ANYONE?! #fuck2020

You know shit’s getting real when your family removes a sister from their will because of her continuous anti-police rhetoric. 😂😂 #BackTheBlue #ByeFelicia

Good. Give the people what they want AND deserve. There is a war against the police right now. When you risk death AND criminal charges for simply doing your job, it’s no longer worth it. #StandwithRolfe #APD #BlueFlu

Me calling a suspect: “Hey is this ___?” Suspect: “Yes, it’s me.” Me: “Hi, I’m calling to talk about an incident that occurred at your friend’s place where they’re missing property.” Suspect: “Oh, you must have this wrong number. This is [totally fake name.]” Me:

There is nothing worse than hearing a frantic officer put out “Officer Down” on the radio. I almost forgot what tunnel vision was like. By the grace of God (and an amazing guardian angel) the officer is expected to make a full recovery, though it didn’t seem that way at first. 💙

I can’t believe I have to explain this, but “The Officer issued verbal commands for the suspect to exit the vehicle and show their hands,” means the same as “The Officer said, “Show me your fucking hands and get out of the fucking car!”” Less is more sometimes, ya buddy fuckers.

Spent the day on a death investigation which led to regretting signing up for extra duty after work. Wrapped up extra duty and was about leave (while daydreaming of my bed.) Guy approaches my window: “M’am, I’ve just been robbed.” #halloween

I feel this.

I fucking hate heroin. If you think drugs are a victimless crime, you’ve probably never had to stop a family member from seeing their 100% innocent loved one’s brain matter all over a car.

From 0 to 10, how immature is it to contact a suspect on their fake email (used to commit a ton of fraud) when they aren’t responding to your calls? #askingforafriend

Getting a murder confession from a social media search warrant when your co-workers said it was a waste of time... #feelslikechristmas

I totally get a little morbid curiosity, but it’s a real head-scratcher to me when you’re angrily demanding to see a distant family member in the advanced stages of decomposition covered in bugs. (While I’m over here just trying not to barf...)

One of the most frustrating aspects of this job: Seeing your cases being represented 100% wrong on the news and/or social media and lacking the ability to counter with the truth. #fakenews

Pro tip: When committing an armed robbery, it’s advised not to leave anything behind, especially something identifying (such as a credit card). #tooeasy #crime101 #dumbcriminals #jobsecurity #3hotsandacot

DA: “Hey, just review this stuff before our last minute hearing today. You probably won’t even have to testify.” DA then literally puts me on the stand first, asking every possible question about everything BUT what I was told to focus on. #whyyy

God yes. 🙌🏼 I can’t even imagine...

I never cease to be completely dumbfounded when we are actively tracking a dangerous suspect and EVERY damn resident wants to come outside and scream, “What’s going on?!” Nah, we didn’t need the element of surprise or anything. 🤬 Get bit.

Me at every court hearing: “Don’t say anything bitchy. Just answer the questions.” Me five minutes later when the defense asks something questionable: