Viggo Mortadella

it’s not businessing to you that I’m clocking on

almost forgot this is the whole portobello

don’t see SUPERMAN in the front row

the average human can survive on a diet of only corn and cheese for approximately 78 years.

bro last night my life be like ooooooo whaaaaaaaa oooooo

I’m like HBO Max without the H the way my pits be reeking

I just locked into the most insane flow state crushing cloves of garlic.

you ever wonder what the last text you’ll ever send might be?

I’m allergic to cantaloupe

cheese sausage sausage with carrots

last night a cold chicken tender saved my life.

my assets have been frozen

I’ve decided that if you wear AirPods Max, you’re a fucking loser but if you wear SONY MDR-7506s you’re fucking cool. cheers.

I want to be reincarnated as a ViewSonic monitor.