it’s 5am. my body hurts. my eyes are burning. i can tell i’m alive but this doesn’t really feel like living

What else is there

love isn't real

Hello, everyone. This is prod sundwn. Ayo sundwn, this go crazy.

My internet career started because I stumbled across FaZe when I was still in elementary school. Pretty crazy to see everybody leaving after all these years.

Just some late night thoughts. I got really sick in February of 2024. Went to a GI doctor and did 3-4 tests which all came back nearly perfect except for my calcium being elevated the tiniest bit. Moved back to Florida after not being able to deal with it anymore and went to the hospital one of the nights. The doctor told me it sounded like I was extremely stressed and that I’d benefit from seeing a psychiatrist and therapist. He honestly didn’t elaborate too much on the stress part. Soon after the hospital visit, I hopped on the phone with a psychiatrist and got diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and PTSD. Just like the doctor in the hospital, he shared the belief that I was very stressed. I ended up getting prescribed Sertraline to ease the anxiety over time and Hydroxyzine to essentially turn the anxiety off if I started feeling like I was going to throw up. Just realized I never mentioned my main symptoms. I was throwing up everyday in the morning, had extreme fatigue during the day and began to get nauseous again at night. In the following months, I finished the bottles of sertraline and hydroxyzine and my anxiety was gone. The major problem was that I was still throwing up. It wasn’t as frequent, but the full body fatigue and nausea were almost just as bad. That was September 2024. Move along to February 2025 and things seemed to level out. I stopped throwing up and I had a little bit more energy. In April or May, I ended up throwing up again, but 2-3 months in between episodes was massive improvement. It is now December 2025 and I haven’t thrown up since. Recently I was really nauseous, but it was most likely because I was stressed and overate a couple weeks ago. Let me just say that I am very comfortable and wake up happy to be alive. I should not be stressed for any reason. With the hospital doctor and psychiatrist both using the word stress coupled with me feeling physically overwhelmed most days, I decided to look up what actually caused the feeling of stress. The answer is cortisol. When you have increased cortisol for a long period of time, it’s because of something called Cushing’s syndrome. There’s multiple kinds: normal, pseudo and cyclical. The names are pretty self-explanatory so I won’t go into much detail. I potentially have an appointment in January to start the tests to see if my cortisol is actually elevated most days. One thing I’ve noticed is that if I have coffee a single time, I’m sick for weeks. Caffeine increases cortisol production, so it makes sense. I don’t expect many people to read this far, but just know I’ve tried taking my health very seriously. I’ve been to the hospital 7-8 times in the last 2 years when my symptoms were terrible and every blood test/scan has come back with no issues present. Let’s hope that with more screening, I’ll be able to figure out what’s wrong so I can have more energy and enjoy life. If it’s something terrible, it’d be nice to know as well so I can get a bunch of music ready in the event I’m MIA.

If you see this, please step away from the internet for a couple days. Life is so chill when you’re in your own bubble and not being forced to worry about every single negative thing going on in the world.

i’m good off x or twitter or whatever this is anymore. making crazy jokes about someone dying to get a reaction is insane. y’all be safe out there seriously. please be understanding. please be thoughtful. please find peace. please lessen your ego and let yourself be wrong. please be a respectful person if you do find yourself in the right.

Lunatics out here celebrating people getting shot like they just upped the score for their gang. What have we turned into? Also, it’s not conservative vs. liberal. It’s sanity vs. insanity. Thinking you need to kill someone you disagree with politically is insane.

airbnb is house prostitution

We aren’t born with a checklist. Live how you want and find peace before the end.

Hey @VALORANT please give me more than +14 for a 29k match mvp D:

thought this was relevant to everything going on rn

hope y’all like my new album

caffeine withdrawals are no joke

kind of getting sick of playing a character all the time