non-practicing intellectual
the middle distance
Joined January 2013
- Tweets37.2K
- Following424
- Followers2.1K
- Likes106K
Pinned Tweet
Knock at the door. I open it.
Neighbor kid: “I… I was trying to do a… a ding-dong… thing..”
Me: “A ding dong ditch?”
NK: “Yeah!”
Me: “But you forgot to leave?”
NK: “Yeah!”
Me: “Do you want to try again?”
NK: “Yeah!”
I used to be somewhat popular on this website and occasionally I’ll get a notification where someone likes a years-old tweet and I’m like omg why was anyone following me I was so annoying
I could never be a manager at a retail establishment because I am simply not deeply triggered by people briefly doing nothing
Does anyone wanna follow me on 🦋? I might talk about horticulture and try to learn how to make jokes again idk
Hey! I did some paintings of oranges inspired by my favorite poems about oranges and two prints are available on my Etsy shop. They’re 8 inches by 8 inches and $20 plus shipping. Link in bio!
childish branzino retweeted
Think Trump’s tariffs won’t affect you? Expect price hikes on:
•Iced tea imported from England
•Lifeguards imported from Spain
•Towels imported from Turkey
•And turkey imported from Maine
Ignore the mess and how I look and everything and just LOOK AT THIS ENORMOUS STAGHORN FERN I GOT FOR $20 ON MARKETPLACE!!!!
childish branzino retweeted
This was a joke, but why would this resonate with me? I do not work late.
I go to sleep… Sabrina is a wonderful young vocalist doing her thing. I wish her nothing but success and longevity, Pop Crave. 🤨
childish branzino retweeted
hey does anyone know what my personality is and if i am succeeding at being a person? thanks 💜
ok but the fact that she felt the need to have her friends collect her records and then CHANGE HER NUMBER implies that she did in fact need to cut him off like girl what did he do
