shokunin of serendipity
Joined January 2020
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there are versions of ourselves that live on in the mouths of people who once knew us, dusty, sentimental
when I spent a lot of time in Germany some doting people practically renamed me with the nicknames Frettchen and Fräulein. it's been very long since I've been called either that I basically forgot them until an old acquaintance today called me Fräulein and resurfaced a flood of fondness for a past chapter. I wonder which other versions I entirely forgot that are preserved in others
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first you’re like oh how can i love people more because that’s the most enjoyable way to relate to people. so then you realise you have to learn how to connect better and how to open your heart more so then you have to feel the emotions that close the heart and then you’re like why disconnection, oh bc fear and shame. and you’re like how do i come back into connection, well you have to “say the thing” so you’re like how do i say the thing, well you have to have clarity so how do i have clarity, you have to feel the emotions and also know what you want/need, so how do you know what you want/need, you gotta spend time getting to know your internal landscape and feel the fear of the other person’s reaction, and then you’re like ok damn they reacted badly, so then you have to learn how to do repair, how do you do repair, you gotta feel the emotions, have clarity, say the thing, catch your heart closing and feel what closes it and you gotta feel the intensity of the vulnerability, and then you’re like damn, i love people.
unironically a couple of good relationships fundamentally altered this in me to which I’m immensely grateful
the concepts of a collaborative partner, getting girlfriend-brain, yielding yin flow weren’t even like unicorn tales for me since in the first place they were rather unfathomable. you are conditioned in ways that at times only others hold the ability to illuminate for you and it‘s a beautiful demonstration of love’s power, a generative force that when surrendering into you find reality contains forms of goodness your mind had never learned to anticipate. expanding the range of what you can conceive of as a life
in a sweet way I think when these men realize their partner doesn't need them to perform invulnerability or this isn’t a diminution of whatever masculinity concept it grants access for them as well to experience a very heartfelt augmentation of their own humanity
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I think everyone’s lost the plot with dating tbh
You’re looking for home. That’s the only point of any of it. A flickering hearth, a bountiful table, a passion that will wax and wane as unalarmingly as the moon. Deciding to love a person ideally involves the same simple blend of logic + intuition that goes into choosing a place to live: you have a short list of what you absolutely need, some things that are nice to have, but mostly it comes down to if it feels immediately instinctively NICE.
When you’re paying attention to how you feel that recognition comes pretty quickly imo. People overcomplicate it a lot, mostly by trying to look to others to figure out what they should care about.
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wake up babe, every version of PHP for the past 17 years has two critical bugs and now 74.5% of the internet is broken lol. there's a patch coming out tomorrow but until then most of the internet has open backdoors that allow unauthorized remote code execution
🥹🥰📢feels unreal but: I’m gonna step for the first time on american soil!!!!!📢🥰🥹
I’ll be in SF nov 12th-23rd!!!
and I need help to find a place to crash at!!
If anyone so kindly has the space to host me/knows someone, I’ll appreciate it greatly and likely grace u with delicious meals. please help a girl who tpot has been trying to get to the land of the free for 4 years now (what the actual hell. unreal.)
