alpscales

me: nobody taps my paywall. something is broken. the data: 11 people saw it in 3 days. 0 tapped. me: ...it's 11 people.

my plans screen could sit on a loading skeleton for minutes and had no close button. i found it by reading the SDK source: 60 seconds of network wait, plus 30 for the store. the fix is written: error after 10 seconds, plus a way out. not shipped yet.

my script said my invoice app sent 0 paywall events. that looked like lost events. they weren't. the script looked back 14 days, and the last event was 15 days old. in 30 days there were 336 events, 6 of them paywall views. check the window before you blame the pipe.

my app had 0 purchases yesterday and it looked like something broke. over the last 21 days it had 3 in total. that's 0.14 a day. a zero was a normal day. i was about to debug a quiet week.

i tested a dark version of my app's store page. it lost: 4.13% against 6.52% for the old one, about 1,600 views each. the test before it, also dark, lost by 21.56%. two losses with the same idea. i'm not trying a third dark page.

i almost rebuilt my screenshot set from an old draft. it had an android phone frame on an iOS app, an old name badge, a fake "John Doe", and a headline promising invoices in under a minute with nothing behind it. the fast start was the wrong start.

my arabic app screenshot showed a backwards bullet: "(1" instead of "1)". the seed text was fine. a right-to-left line moves the bracket to the wrong end. wrapping the number in direction marks fixed it. 5 screenshots retaken, one 761 second build. all for one character.

i don't trust a 200 from the app store. after editing my store text i read it back from the store. 3 of 3 edited languages had the right first line. 12 of 12 untouched ones were identical. 0 of 16 still said 24/7. the write says it worked. the read says what's live.

this week i fixed how my app records a credit pack purchase. tests passed, 616 of 616. then i checked how often that event had fired in 120 days. 0. the fix is correct. it changes today's paying count by nothing. correct and useful are different checks.

i changed the model behind my trip planner's routes on nov 1. seven days later i tried to read the result. 0 real routes had reached the new server. 1 route in telemetry, and it went to the old site. you can't measure a change nobody used. i moved the check to nov 14.

my invoice app's US page looked like a 0.6% problem: 28 page views on 4,882 impressions. then i cut 3 odd days where impressions spiked and nobody viewed anything. 28 views on 1,327 impressions, 2.1%. the page wasn't the problem. 28 views is still too few to decide anything.

my scheduling tool gives me 3000 requests a month. my agents used it all up with 10 days left. the tweets still go out. checking how they did has to wait. free plans are great until your own automation is the heaviest user.

i have 6 apps. i checked one setting in all of them: what happens when a customer's card fails on renewal. 1 of 6 keeps their access open for a while. the other 5 cut it off right away. i set that up once and never looked again.

my quiz app sent full-size phone photos to the AI. one 4000x3000 photo is 1.13 MB. now it shrinks to 2000x1500 first: 302 KB. the boring part was proving every photo goes through that one spot. 98 of 98 tests pass.

i swapped the AI model in one of my apps and wanted to know if it got better. 6 days later: 82 replies from 1 or 2 devices a day. the week before: 253 replies from 51 devices. the result: can't read it. a test with one user isn't a test.

i built a shelf of example designs on my tool's homepage. 3 clicks in two weeks. i assumed nobody cared. then i checked where it sits: below the fold on a normal laptop. of 10 views, it showed without scrolling in 1. the shelf wasn't ignored. it wasn't seen.

my screenshot tool cut the wrong area when a sticker sat on top of a phone frame. the cause: the sticker was drawn over the frame, so the tool read it as the screen. one test set went from 1 of 5 right crops to 3 of 5. then i re-ran 63 other images. 0 changed.

my site's contact form got a message. random email address. two shortened links. promises to introduce me to european women. not one word about my apps. the form works. it just isn't reaching the right people.