The mariners have a knockoff Racing Sausages, the Salmon Run except one of the Salmon, Humpy, is a dipshit who had never won a race. Tonight in the 15th inning, they ran the second Salmon Run of the night. Humpy won. The Mariners immediately walked it off and are ALCS bound.

Giannis Antetokounmpo: I thought you said Miami was the Greeciest city in America Me: Ah. I see what happened here. Nevertheless,

World cup hallelujah

Hopefully his dad will have an easier time finding the men’s room with 41 games in this building

My dream world cup host stadiums 1) Lambeau field (in january) 2) Camp Randall (jump around during 2nd hydration break) 3) Assembly hall IU (figure it out) 4) Rocket league aquadome

You know what they say, a watched pot never calls the kettle black

Is there a German word for the social credit you need for people to laugh at your joke

Wife: watches softcore p*rn TV show in living room Husband: vibe codes with AI agents in office This is the modern American dream

My dad’s email address had his zip code at the end of it and then when he got hacked he made a new one with the last 5 digits of his address. Why did he do that

Siena would’ve held bam to 16

Trying to watch Siena-Merrimack in peace when the banner says BREAKING NEWS BAM ADEBAYO 83 POINTS… leave me be

Commentating college hoops is the only job you get better at as you grow more senile. I want my color guys to have full-on dementia

"I drink and I know things" t shirt except it's couples shirts and his says "I drink" and hers says "And I know things"

Imagine being an athlete at the World Sex Festival but you're really bad at sex #Olympics2026 #WeKnowTheyGettingFreaky

5 hops is an egregious amount of hops. But at that point in the Cha Cha Slide Part 2, Mr C the Slide Man knows he has the dance floor in the palm of his hand.