My opinions are those of your employer
colorado
Joined March 2010
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HGTV's newest show Property Fuckers is about a pair of brothers who defile real estate
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"You wanna hit this?" I murmured to the beau, out of earshot of the kids, shaking a box of Cheez-its at him invitingly
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1000% of the appeal of a menstrual cup is that it's pretty metal to dump out a goblet of your own blood ~2x/day
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My daughter came to me in confession mode.
"Mom? During quiet time? When I was alone in my room?" Her voice dropped to a whisper.
"I was saying stuff about POOP."
And because my Joke Urge is greater than my Good Parent Urge, I could only reply:
"Yeah? Were you talking shit?"
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Sometimes I spontaneously yell out "Give me a beat!" and this dude I married cheerfully, invariably replies "Beat!" and I am like..... this is not call and response, you are meant to PROVIDE ME A BEAT, who are you and why is our relationship
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Probably my favorite parenting moment of 2018 is when I told my daughter she was tripping balls and she incredulously replied, "No, YOU'RE chicken dolls!"
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They say blogging is dead but that didn't stop me from doing it!! anotherdamnlife.com/2018/08/…
The world is on fire and marketers are all on my inbox jock about their star-spangled sales! B unless your "exclusive" Bed Bath & Beyond offer involves disappearing our elected officials in a tall stack of clearance sheets, I'm never going to be interested
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My baby just signed on to new HGTV show! It's called Spitter Upper, the concept is he goes around horfing on newly renovated spaces,
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I have fierce PPD and breastfeeding literally tried to kill me (huge abscess from mastitis) but I'm still here and mad about stuff. You?
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Not taking sides is some weenie, flaccid, hand-wringing, politically correct BS if I ever saw some.
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(stage whisper)
Breastfeeding is a patriarchal conspiracy to rob women of their time, energy, and resources
Pass it on
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Once I went to see a television psychic medium and stopped for Wendy's on the way anotherdamnlife.com/2017/04/…
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I know it's not cool to hate things but lately I've been having some very strong feelings about Snapchat filters
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Cadillac Escalade with a "my family" sticker comprised solely of an elderly man and dog is maybe one of the sad-bravest things I've seen
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