Ash

I feel like my twitter account would be 100% more successful if I just tweeted about my boyfriend experiencing food for the first time. Example: He is 34 years old and just had an orange for the first time.

Meta is down so I jump over here for the first time in ages because I need to feel a digital connection with others or else I wither up and die.

Look, I still love you but I'm not IN love with you. No no baby, please don't cry. What's that? You wanna change? It's a little too late for that now. You can find me on 🧵 Same username.

Mentally I am here.

Everyone's switched over to Succession since @netflix ghosted us with no more updates

Love is Blind has officially surpassed Bachelor in popularity, completely broke Netflix.

Just cried because Josh wouldn't get out of the kitchen and let me do the dishes. Clearly I have a really healthy relationship with productivity.

Nothing solidifies my suspicion of having mild face blindness quite like trivia that includes 25 celebrities born in 1989.

Do I want to meet up for coffee? Sure, let me just change out of my at-home sweats into my going-out sweats.

Josh, who grew up in Missouri: Babe, please come to the basement. Me, a lifelong Columbus resident: Hahaha I'll just be on this couch watching TV and looking out the window, thanks.

At a networking event earlier today and they had us list things about our teenage years in an attempt to connect us back to that more "freeing" time and uh ...

I was feeling a bit down so I just read hundreds of tweets praising Nick Offerman's performance in The Last of Us and now I feel whole and good again.

The eternal Saturday night struggle of wanting to be invited to go out but not wanting to leave the house.

First dance with COVID this week and I'm grateful it's been very mild. But I lost my sense of smell which I confirmed after shoving my whole nose into a bottle of apple cider vinegar.

What a perfectly good "lay in bed and read" day that is COMPLETELY RUINED by social obligations and the crushing weight of capitalism.

It's the second day of 2023 and I'm already having to remind folks that people are more important than money. Cancel the game.

No one should be made to play a sport after witnessing a teammate being administered CPR and carted off in an ambulance. I hope they do the right thing and cancel this game.

We've been so prepared for this winter storm that we've had our faucet dripping for 8 months.

I am once again asking you to not forget your NA friends this holiday season. 🙏 I've put together some ideas of things you can serve instead of booze. columbusunderground.com/5-dr…

The only good thing about this vacation is all the ALDIs Advent Calendar Cheese I get to eat when I get back home.

Sometimes I let my one, thick chin hair grow out so I can stroke it pensively while pondering something important.