iridescent • I’m just a silly little guy
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Joined February 2011
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My husband is so used to me slugging my face every night that he gets uncomfortable when I go to bed and my face is not slippery as fuck
Forgot to mention earlier I did 30 minutes of speed walking uphill on the treadmill this morning but then I puked immediately afterwards
Okay so this hair dryer was literally like $15 I don’t see the appeal in buying $100+ ones but I want an expensive one to compare lmao
Apparently this is pretty much exactly how they fold socks in the military but I made one extra step by putting them inside of each other lmao. I thought I made it up 😭
Someone: “do you have any special talents?”
Me: “THROWANOTHERONEUPINTHEGRAVEIDONTNEEDANAKPUTADOUBLESIDEDBLADEINTHEMAINVEINWATCHINGYOULEAKLIKEABROKENPIPEIMTHESOFTSPOKENTYPEBUTWHENIHANDLETHEARCHETYPEICANNOTSPEAKONLYDIGDEEPINTOABYSMALDEPRESSIONTOFINDWHATICANNOTUNSEEIMAFIENDFORTHE—
My mom: *taking the shoes out of the dryer that I was drying because I have to leave this morning and putting her stuff in there”
Me: “can you not do that they obviously weren’t done and I am on a time constraint this morning”
Mom: *obviously dissatisfied grumbling*
Me: “god I’m so glad I’m moving away from here I can’t stand this, and no one has even told me they’re going to miss me. I’m not going to miss you either then.”
Mom: “well you always act like you hate us 🥺”
Fucks sake I wonder why
Omg good for her I love this 🥹❤️ when I lose weight and some comes off of my breasts I feel so much more confident to wear what I want without it being absurdly obscene
My dad broke fractured his leg in 2 spots and broke it in 2 spots and had to have orthopedic surgery but he’s been trying to pit me against my fiancé for months calling him a liar without providing me any examples so I don’t feel THAT bad about his leg
Like ouch that probably sucks but also you tried to make me have an “us against you mentality” instead of listening to valid concerns and cries for help, and all you did was use your “favors” as ammunition later on.
I’m moving to another city tomorrow, all my parents have done so far is complain about gas money, for my BROTHER taking me, not them. No one has even told me they would miss me or anything. Bet. I’ll keep that in mind.
I would like to thank my parents for providing me with the “gift” of life, however I did not receive a gift receipt, and customer service is not accepting any complaints at the moment.