@bfvasectomy

norm

Joined February 2023
  • Tweets539
  • Following21
  • Followers15
4Media
call me crazy but replying to tweets has helped my anxiety so much bc the first few tines i replied to something i would literally be shaking
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im dreading getting on that plane
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the things hes been saying to me are so traumatizing and heartbreaking and SCARY men have always scared me and it feels like hes proving to me that i should really BE scared of them. he was never like this this isnt my baby
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looking at me right in my eyes telling me he shouldve never given the fat ugly girl a chance LOL. Looking at me and saying all im gonna do when i fly to him is "ur gonna suck my dick and leave" like WHAT? what what hwat this isnt my bf my bf the loml would never say these things
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it's doomed!
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wow i didnt even rmbr tweeting this lol i woke up at 7am smoked a bowl and went to sleep and woke up randomly to say this? it is fr over LOL
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and if talking to me has started feeling like something you have to do instead of something you want to do, please leave me alone then.
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this and holding it in ur entire life til u meet someone that makes u stop masking and then after a while u remember why u never talked about ur disorder and forced urself to seem normal
vanta🔺️@_itsvantablackOct 26
ppl don't understand the exhaustion of masking your disorder,choosing to not act but feeling every emotion until it changes how u see people around you and yourself
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I stopped talking to everyone i used to mask around besides the person i was fully true to myself with and now its so bad that i cant even get myself to mask around them at all because i gor too comfortable and its deteriorating and ruining everything
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and actually i finally have besn able to force myself to mask the past month but like the op op said its just so exhausting and mind consuming constantly telling urself the scenario ur in is Okay and fine when u feel the complete opposite
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only been playing deadlock for about a week and i can already tell how insufferable this community is :( awe
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trying to be okay not being on the phone as much w my bf but my brain is.......... ugh. were texting n its keeping me regulated but when were not on the phone theres always things i wanna send or show him but i dont bc it doesnt feel reciprocated
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and if he was sending me things he found cool or interesting or funny or WHATEVER itd make me feel like he thinks abt me even when my presence isnt there :( n like maybe he does but hes already told me multiple times he doesnt think abt me when hes alone so idk lol
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gonna get high and forcefully fill my head with happy things while i play gam :3
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im writin this so i realize how dumb it is but i dont like sending him posts or things i see because he NEVER does when we arent in call and its not that im withholding things i wanna tell him but it just hurts when its only me sending things and thinking abt him when not on call
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hes so mean to me now
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and nowo that i think i meresdy to make that ttansition and prove that im different in just too late
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if i was noramal and jjst gof upset at and talked ro him about thigns that TRULY botherewd me then everytjng wouldve been smoother and he would be mode understanding and see why i fslt those ways but it was just so much at so little that everything feels small even if its not now
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