brandon (@blaath) header
brandon (@blaath) profile picture

brandon

@blaath

gokies 1995

 Charlotte, NC
Joined January 2012
  • Tweets11.2K
  • Following238
  • Followers270
679Media
Photo by brandon (@blaath)Photo by brandon (@blaath)Photo by brandon (@blaath)Photo by brandon (@blaath)Photo by brandon (@blaath)Photo by brandon (@blaath)Photo by brandon (@blaath)Photo by brandon (@blaath)Photo by brandon (@blaath)
brandon retweeted
b. (@oc3ansluut) profile picture
b.
@oc3ansluutNov 5
why are your balls in My court
8
444
10
3,406
57,459
Image from π™‹π™§π™šπ™’π™žπ™šπ™§ π™‡π™šπ™–π™œπ™ͺπ™š π™Žπ™π™žπ™©π™₯π™€π™¨π™©π™žπ™£π™œ (@PLShitposting)
Image from π™‹π™§π™šπ™’π™žπ™šπ™§ π™‡π™šπ™–π™œπ™ͺπ™š π™Žπ™π™žπ™©π™₯π™€π™¨π™©π™žπ™£π™œ (@PLShitposting)
16
392
14
15,087
1,032,065
brandon retweeted
pea (@postingtime) profile picture
pea@postingtimeJul 31
waiter… more gentle light to dapple my beloved dining companion, please
4
604
11
5,718
127,210
brandon retweeted
Amber (@bloodberry_tart) profile picture
Amber@bloodberry_tartJul 24
Michelob Ultra tastes like it would be okay for a baby to drink one
164
2,838
103
55,728
2,037,030
Image from antifaπŸ”»girlfriend (@lllliatttt)
gwen howerton (@kissphoria) profile picturegwen howerton@kissphoriaJul 2
i'm inventing a new card in soccer that the ref shows when something Beautiful happens
5
1,293
6
38,007
750,028
brandon retweeted
Rodger Sherman (@rodger) profile picture
Rodger Sherman@rodgerJun 29
if I were Germany, I would simply score four goals against Paraguay, like the United States men's national team
88
1,406
40
29,063
1,575,806
Image from Notarmedhippy4 (@armedhippy4)
16
3,464
82
90,912
767,647
brandon retweeted
surya (@suryamidha) profile picture
surya
@suryamidhaJun 21
roulette is basically free money if you know how to play properly. if it’s red a bunch of times in a row you know it has to be black next. also it’s always black.
60
132
10
14,083
688,197
THIS FIRES ME UP , THIS MAKES ME FEEL FUCKING EXCITED !!!!
Antidepressant Content (@depressionlesss) profile pictureAntidepressant Content
@depressionlesssJun 7
This is a Crab Riding a Jellyfish
32
3,897
6
53,893
1,212,297
My body is a machine that turns domestic beers and grilled meats into respect for all of those who have served
40
1,231
34
23,696
955,252
getting a haircut at Great Clips feels like when a criminals bleeding out in a movie and goes to a vet
26
571
13
14,608
382,546
guy who's always figured it out: "idk if i'm gonna figure it out this time"
11
388
38
4,455
76,516
You don’t need to wash your water bottle or your bed sheets or anything. Everything will eventually become clean because of a great big fire
42
3,817
131
47,794
652,691
The reason my memory is totally fucked and I'm stupid as hell is because my brain has to save the RAM so it can perfectly recreate the interior of my ex girlfriend's car from seven years ago for really shitty dreams
21
952
34
18,198
220,209
dont think we have enough guys monitoring the weather situation. can we get some more guys monitoring the weather situation
80
721
38
14,023
274,259
my body does not know the difference between a mistake at work and being hunted for sport
224
26,947
634
240,304
3,897,206
I’d only consider joining the military if they let me become the armored flamethrower guy who explodes when shot from behind
189
3,206
56
52,053
713,119
brandon retweeted
basil (@blis5ful) profile picture
basil@blis5fulJan 18
for what the monkey considers business the horse considers play
115
14,933
213
115,030
1,676,948
Damn
2
1
2
8
500
brandon retweeted
πŸ’½ (@gum_mp3) profile picture
πŸ’½@gum_mp317 Oct 2025
Oaxacan Old Fashioned. He feels like he’s drowning. Miller highlife in the dirt of course he’s chasing it. IPAs suck kill yourself. And Bang French 75 inside corner. You’re out. you were always out you’ve been out since the day you were born
πŸ’½ (@gum_mp3) profile pictureπŸ’½@gum_mp317 Oct 2025
guy next to me at the bar is trying to order a more pretentious drink than me but I’m not having it
54
581
9
11,121
445,643
Load more