amateur mohel
m̶t̶l̶ nyc
Joined April 2020
- Tweets2.2K
- Following525
- Followers578
- Likes42.5K
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just so you know i have large, strong hands that could make you feel safe. it’s not a big deal though
beautiful girl spilled coffee on my bicycle helmet during a date #adultbaptism
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me: thanks for coming over for dinner
my dumbass friend duncan: this castle hath a pleasant seat. the air nimbly and sweetly recommends itself unto our gentle senses.
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having a martini with a beautiful woman and visibly shivering after each sip. told her baby that’s all frisson
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god i wish my job were pervert instagram photographer. instead i work at a hospital. how is that fair
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autistic guy who was really excited for schindler’s list because he thought it was about the elevator manufacturer
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scrubbed in to a case in the OR asking the circulating nurse to please get my phone out of my pocket and text my ex something made me think of her
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i like when the phone gets hot while it’s charging.. it’s like, that’s the power :) he’s getting warmed back up :)
gregory house is his real name and the show is a documentary. hugh laurie is a character he plays sometimes
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prancing around in tasseled loafers that are half a size too small for me and creating a hideous blister
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you shouldn’t be doing bits, let alone bits on instagram, if you can’t keep a straight face for more than fifteen seconds
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