I do think he’s better than your average male feminist. I’ve met many “decent men” who pantomime empathy they do not actually feel. Empathy is not calling yourself an empath, using keywords or wearing pointless labels. It is substance over form, and requires actively putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, and trying to feel the way that they feel. Many men talk, but it rings hollow bc you can always tell when someone has the capacity to care about others, and when they do not. I have always recognised namjoon as a soul who cares. He impresses me with his sincere love for humanity and the world. And his ability to empathise with everything - from planets to leaves and little crabs, to Asian diaspora (whose struggles he grew up without), to fangirls who taught him to love himself, and a thousand other things. It has always been a point of warmth and pride for me to cheer for someone who loves and defends us in return. There were times I’ve felt humbled by how much he cared about things I never bothered to think about. I am also moved by this person’s undying love for humanity - I have lost that love for people, and I am drawn to people who still have it. Over the years, I’ve learned and picked up many good habits from each of the members. I’ve been positively influenced by them in different ways. I’ve gained even more from being in an amazing community full of women (the closest to matriarchy I’ve ever experienced). The bts women are funny, clever, emotional, and safe* to be around. BTS’ music and the Love Yourself era touched many ARMYs’ hearts - because women had to learn to love themselves in a patriarchal world. I understand those who are sad and hurt bc they expect bts to be on our side - not the side of men who tolerate and remain blind to the violence of men who are rapists and abusers. Many women do not accept men who are friends with rapists, and I see this hurt as a principled continuation of the values they hold in their lives. I think bts is still on your side. I do not think they’ve changed. I think he has outsized empathy for even shit he cannot relate to, beats himself up over things i don’t even think about, and truly loves his female ARMY who adore him. I just think it takes active, continuous effort to stop seeing things through a lens of patriarchal permissibility, which pervades every aspect of our lives. And it also takes a cynical, conscious willingness to re-assess a childhood idol (whom everyone around you admires). Privately, I think it may also be difficult for someone who loves humanity to see wretchedness in people ahead of any value. I like him because he is good at heart, with good roots, innate kindness, and lots of love to give back to the world. I like people who instinctively have more good things than bad things to say about others; who is capable of genuine happiness and sadness for others (without making it all about himself); who has real capacity for empathy; and who has a soul that does not derive relief or joy from causing hurt to others. He brings a net positive to the world with his existence. The above sounds like a low bar to clear - but it is my opinion that most people alive cannot (and do not wish to) clear them. But having a good heart doesn’t make you omniscient and doesn’t negate the need to challenge yourself and grow. I’m a woman who’s had to learn to love myself many years after an abusive relationship. I empathize with ARMYs who are hurt, and I also have deep empathy for the protective ARMYs who are angered by the backlash, and who want things to go back to normal and stop. All your feelings are human and valid to me. In the end, I am grateful to be in a community full of women - contradictory reactions and extreme clashes included. I’m still a woman who believes in bts. I maintain my high hopes for a person who has given me so much respect as a female fan - even if people call me silly for it.