Cait Chock

I’m fine dying alone. All I want is, on my deathbed, someone to sidle up real close and whisper into my ear, “you were funny.” – at Los Angeles, CA

state of the word: fedex office supplies no longer trusts us enough to offer communal scissors in the copy center for fear we'll all stab each other

my hs crush started posting baby stuff so finally hit that unfollow

Siri telling me to “proceed down Failing street” is too meta for my liking

when i die i want my funeral to be a roast, open casket, tattoo gun on hand, and have everyone sign my carcass like a yearbook

i love that my internet provider sent me an email thanking me for qualifying for their low income discount. basically, “thank you for being poor and here’s a little reminder that you are poor”

kim possible regularly saving the world using just her brain and a crop top is wildly more impressive than any marvel character

i’ll never remember ur name but i’ll always remember ur face, that ur left shoelace was untied, u blinked an abnormal amount which made me wonder if u were desperately looking to get away from me cuz i was annoying u, and u had a dog named Tyson

someone wanted to stop and pet my dog, so i stop, they bend down, but my dog just dodges them, hot steps past them, and in that moment he was my hero. i wish i had the guts to evade unwanted social interactions with such confidence

i have a tupac shirt and three people have come up asking who is in my shirt. i’m old enough now i lived thru tupac dying, conspiracists vowing he was alive, confirming he died, and now he’s not recognizable on a graphic tee

never understood cuffing season, sounds like looking for company cuz u’re lonely. i’m lonely but have plenty of company in the form of depression, anxiety, ocd, add…if anything i would like to uncuff for a season

public enemy

went on a journey to find myself and i wound up in aisle 7 in front of the pop-tarts

“right about now the funk soul brother” has been stuck in my head on a loop for no reason. i think it’s my brain’s version of waterboarding me

archeology seems crazy to me. people out there spending hours a day drudging up the past. here i am spending years doing all i can to bury, hide, repress, fossilize, send to the bottom of the tarpits my past

feelings are like taking a bath with a toaster

my idea of flirting is having amazing conversations with u in my head and never actually talking to u