caitlyn alico beckwith

thinking bout urinetown don’t hmu

every time I’m able to differentiate which Beatle is which in a photo I feel like a god

toyota corollas are to high school as nissan rougues are to college

adoption is just baby thrifting

a starbucks that sells french fries.

thinking about how the Bernie meme is gonna be in the January box for the 2021 meme calendar

it really took 18 years for me to learn that the glasses you buy from the dollar store are called “cheaters” and not “cheetahs” huh

phineas and ferb literally built a giant tricked out skateboard track, made a super suit, accidentally became a superhero and then defeated an evil villain all in one afternoon and meanwhile i go to walmart to buy a load of bread and call it a day

AND SHE JUST ASKED IF MR BLUE SKY WAS BY THE BEATLES

when your sister has the aUDACITY to make fun of you for calling Billy Joel Elton John when she once thought the song Santeria was called Quesadilla and was by Nirvana 😤😤

not to be controversial but perry come home > gary come home

someone just asked me what the meaning of life was because they “just felt like I’d be the person to know the answer” is this a compliment???

forget hand-eye coordination, I’m here for finger-finger-finger-finger-finger coordination cuz the other day I held a phone, water bottle, two straws and a salad in one hand and that’s much more impressive than anything a hand and an eye can do

the combined power of every emoji is still inadequate in comparison to “:)”.

dreams in tv: I saw a small child, I was reaching out and trying to save him but I couldn’t. What does it mean? dreams in real life: I bought a smart car for $6000 on Facebook market and told my mom.

do I relate to Ted from How I Met Your Mother because I A) feel that I too am the blandest and most problematic friend although I think I’m the center or the world or B) I also want to get beat up by a goat

does anyone else miss those clowns from 2016?

ARE PRETZELS AND BAGELS MADE FROM THE SAME DOUGH?!?!?