1...., Computer nerd, chocoholic, pizzaholic, scifi, B5, horror, science, classic rock, fitness, owned by a fluffy cat, i tweet a lot!
bangor, me. usa
Joined February 2009
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My wife said she thinks she saw people with blue-colored skin
I told her "It's just a pigment of your imagination"
Why was the TV show "The Bachelor" a failure in Saudi Arabia?
Episode 1, after 10 mins:
"I'll take them all..."
I have a statistics joke, but it's not significant. I have a regression joke, but it sounds quite mean. I have a machine learning joke, but it is not performing as well on a new audience. I have a joke about deep learning but I can't explain it.
I went to the seaside yesterday and stopped at this stall with a sign which said "Lobster tails £1".
I gave the man the money and he said "Once upon a time there was a lobster..."
I bought a sweater but it was picking up static electricity, so I returned it to the store.
They gave me another one free of charge...
Christ I've just heard about ithe world's unluckiest black footballer
He did his fucking ACL taking the knee
What's the difference between Iron Man and Aluminium Man..?
Iron Man stops bad guys while Aluminium Man just foils their plans...
Can anyone help? I'm trying out a new recipe and need a guinea pig.
Or a couple of squirrels would do at a pinch.
A chicken, a rabbit and a pig were by the stun-gun in the abbatoir
The butcher says, "Right, who's gonna be slaughtered next?"
"Well I'm game", says the rabbit.
In Moscow, the Kremlin has been broken into and next year's election results have been stolen.
Brazil: Hold My Beer!
I have never had much luck with sex.
The nearest I got to a threesome was on the number 5 bus last week.
I was masturbating next to a woman who was breastfeeding her baby.
As I walk through the valley of the Shadow of Death, I remind myself that you can't always trust Google Maps.
My wife asked me if I'd seen the dog bowl. I said, "to be honest I didn't know he played cricket..."