Scott Farr

Average coaches make sure players know how important the coach is. Elite coaches make sure players know how important each player is.

AAU tryout season has a way of bringing every hard conversation to the surface. I’ve learned this lesson the hard way over the years... Tell the truth. Always. Sure, that sounds obvious. Like, in theory, it’s easy. But in practice, it’s hard. Just ask families. I used to think I was being honest, but looking back, I was probably too vague... trying to protect feelings, keep everyone happy, or soften the message. That’s not clarity. That’s people-pleasing. And a little short-term people-pleasing too often creates a lot of long-term cleanup. Tell a player exactly where she’ll stand if she accepts your offer. Tell current players where they stand in the program. And when a family asks what level of college basketball you believe their daughter can play right now (D1, D2, D3, NAIA or JUCO), give them your honest assessment. Can she develop, improve, and change that projection? Absolutely! My own kid once proved a program REALLY wrong. But knowing where you are today, and what it will realistically take to get where you want to go, is far less stressful than hearing nothing, assuming you’re slotted higher than you are, or aiming at the wrong level... and wondering why the interest isn’t coming. Your job is NOT to sell every family on your program. It’s to give them enough truth to decide whether your program is actually right for their daughter... even if their answer is N.O. They may disagree, choose another program, or not love what you say. That’s A-OK. Most people will respect you for being honest. And yes, there may be that 1% who never talks to you again or avoids you at tournaments. You. Still. Tell. The. Truth. Because when you consistently tell people the truth, something else happens... Players and families from across the basketball community start calling YOU. And not because you’ll sell them on something or tell them what they WANT to hear, but because they trust you to tell them what they NEED to hear. You may not land every player or keep every relationship. But you’ll build something far more valuable than a roster spot... TRUST. I sleep better. They sleep better. And everyone knows where they stand. Just something to think about.