@collinalpert

.NET developer at Schleupen. Check out my GitHub for side projects which I will definitely still get around to.

 Hamburg
github.com/CollinAlpert
Joined August 2015
  • Tweets830
  • Following374
  • Followers91
58Media
Collin Alpert retweeted
frankie@frankieats6 Mar 2025
finally completed a very important task i’ve been avoiding for several months. it took 8 minutes and zero effort on my part and i felt immediate and immense relief. i probably won’t learn from this
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Replying to @JayVersace
I think if a dog could throw something on the grill, they would.
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Collin Alpert retweeted
Ron Iver@ronnui_28 Dec 2024
My least controversial opinion is that Ikea should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a gjörfbunkle
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Collin Alpert retweeted
trash
@trashh_dev1 Oct 2024
everytime someone says the word proxy i just assume they’re a god damn genius
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Collin Alpert retweeted
E L H O T Z O@elhotzo29 Sep 2024
Tagesablauf aller Nachbarn über denen ich jemals gewohnt habe
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Collin Alpert retweeted
Edward Kmett
@kmett24 Sep 2024
A coworker and I were talking about the proper way to kill children in a food court once, in the wake of 9/11, and had mall security called on us. The ensuing awkward explanation of unix process terminology with a jittery mall-cop has lived rent-free in my head ever since.
neural nets.
@cneuralnetwork23 Sep 2024
never studying OS again
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Wife: what do you know about mail chimp? Me: I believe it’s a distant cousin to the survey monkey Wife: ….
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Collin Alpert retweeted
gabsmashh
@gabsmashh29 Jul 2024
you're in his dms but i'm in his s3 bucket because he doesn't understand ACLs
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Collin Alpert retweeted
Turk
@gitpush_gitpaid29 Jun 2024
designers will look you dead in the face and tell you these are two different colors
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Collin Alpert retweeted
Josh Sawyer@jesawyer29 Jun 2024
I think it’s cool that we’re still using Bluetooth for a ton of things even though it’s super bad 👍
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Ich hatte vorhin meinen Kaffee in der Nase. 🤣🤣🤣
Darth Lehrer @Darth_Lehrer "Putin startet Lauschangriff auf deutsche Küste!" Erste Ergebnisse: "Moin." "Moin." "Und?" "Muss." "Jo." 4:02 nachm. · 21. Juni 2024 · 366.770 Mal angezeigt https://x.com/Darth_Lehrer/status/1804152976665092245 _________________________________ 🎲Verdammnis🎲 @Dat_Verdammnis Wow erster versuch und er erwischt die beiden Quasselstrippen. 9:21 nachm. · 21. Juni 2024 · 7.443 Mal angezeigt https://x.com/Dat_Verdammnis/status/1804233079860420669

ALT Darth Lehrer @Darth_Lehrer "Putin startet Lauschangriff auf deutsche Küste!" Erste Ergebnisse: "Moin." "Moin." "Und?" "Muss." "Jo." 4:02 nachm. · 21. Juni 2024 · 366.770 Mal angezeigt https://x.com/Darth_Lehrer/status/1804152976665092245 _________________________________ 🎲Verdammnis🎲 @Dat_Verdammnis Wow erster versuch und er erwischt die beiden Quasselstrippen. 9:21 nachm. · 21. Juni 2024 · 7.443 Mal angezeigt https://x.com/Dat_Verdammnis/status/1804233079860420669

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idk why people say funding open source is difficult
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Collin Alpert retweeted
Ashley@khyperia27 May 2024
frustrated at having to use reflection to access unity internals? use this one weird trick!
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Collin Alpert retweeted
Rothmus 🏴
@Rothmus24 May 2024
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On arrival in Japan: "I don't really want a toilet to spray me in the butt." Upon returning from Japan: "What, am I just supposed to wipe my own ass like some kind of caveman?" One week after returning from Japan:
Japanese-style toilet installed in Canadian bathroom.

ALT Japanese-style toilet installed in Canadian bathroom.

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My most millennial trait is big purchases must happen in big laptop screen
x@soulohlove1 Apr 2024
booking flights on a phone is crazy. that is a laptop activity
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Collin Alpert retweeted
George Mayer
@GeorgeMayer22 Mar 2024
I don’t actually get the point of kubernetes.
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Here is a 72-byte alphanum MD5 collision with 1-byte difference for fun: md5("TEXTCOLLBYfGiJUETHQ4hAcKSMd5zYpgqf1YRDhkmxHkhPWptrkoyz28wnI9V0aHeAuaKnak") = md5("TEXTCOLLBYfGiJUETHQ4hEcKSMd5zYpgqf1YRDhkmxHkhPWptrkoyz28wnI9V0aHeAuaKnak")
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Collin Alpert retweeted
Sash Zats
@zats24 Feb 2024
What are your most useful automations?
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