Ash Brassington

A seal is like a bird in that they have the same number of limbs, except birds have legs.

Gabe will come out when he’s good and ready, Mome-raths!

A mask, a rose, a ten gallon hat: do-si-do mask

If someone graffitied “who watches the watchmen” in whoville they’d just be like “that’s good”

I spend a lot more of my adult life with the bananas in pyjama’s theme stuck in my head than I ever would have guessed.

Hey, is “I pirates life for me” the same song as “painting the roses red”?

These are my twins: She-Ra and Sheila

Roommate: can you hear that? It’s like an octopus noise.

“**Just** gas”? Stop minimising my gas.

Recast Mark Wahlberg in Gone Girl with Maggie Smith. I want to hear her say “That’s McGonagall”

My flatmate: I wonder what kind of dog breed you would be (3 minutes later) My flatmate: omg look at this dog Me: why are you looking at a listicle for top ten ugliest dog breeds? My flatmate: It’s not what it looks like, it just came up when I searched “big face dog”

Why hack and slash when you could slack and hash

When can I get Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly to remake this? youtu.be/VkEl_R0dTfY

Someone make a website where you type in a word and it displays all the translations of that word from languages extinct or extant on the known family tree of languages.

If you’re Glaswegian you should be from Glasway.

Another flatmate animal fact: squirrels fill their cheeks with nuts so no one else can see them

One pair of baby feet never used.

Tmtmtm! A kids book that explains different sexualities and gender identities and gender expressions with lions. It’s called Pride Parade Tmtmtmtm

I like to think of deep questions like: What? What? What? What? What? What?

Shiitake, Chestnut, and Buttons: a team of truffle sniffing pigs who also solve mysteries, disguised as a single man wearing a trench coat: my new idea for a children’s manga: Porcini, Private eye! Omg TMTMTMTMTMTMTMTMTMTMTMTMTMTMTMTMTMTMTMTMTMTM