cat 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

this is identity theft

have u ever been dt & a bumblebee lands on u & chills for a mile despite a full battalion marching by & it maybe is ur soulmate so it refuses to move & eventually u have to just put it in a tree with a tictac u licked bc that’s all the sugar/water u have? common predicament…

wish to reaffirm my commitment to being Paul Simon’s no1 25-year old scottish stan

I have long thought that whoever came up with the idea for the Blue Monday mashup in this deserves a knighthood

mmmm yes to be 10 and have your big Saturday eve bath- jammies on, hair in towel, ready to sit down for an unparalleled night of telly

oh ye canny shove yer granny oot a twenty story flat

had a chat recently with some boys who did not agree w/ me that being hot is not about looks… and it is they i pity!! Imagine being unable to parse charisma this strong. truly a harrowing way to walk thru life ! give it up and realise everyone’s got something a little saucy x

white_flag_dido_cd_rip.mp3

look it’s the burj khalifa

simon pegg stop doing scottish accents please challenge

having an existential crisis bc i can understand fahrenheit now

reject modernity embrace tradition x the tradition being that I can’t milk a cow x

preserving this hair moment in the media tab