Carson Walker

William S Burroughs reporting for the London Exaggerator has uncovered the “Steely Dan” Dossier alleging Trump ate lunch naked and nicknamed his dick “whistle” at a #Ukraine hotel. If #stormydaniels is the real #whistleblower can #Trump be impeached like #Clinton? #MondayMorning

#49ersCheerleader takes a knee? She’s only gone half-way. If she wants to play on my field she’s gonna have to go all the way and take two knees. #49ers #NFL #TakeAKnee

I like my protesters how I like my coffee…. #Starbucks #StarbucksBoycott #StarbucksArrests

I get crazy tan in the summer. I can't wait for summer so I can start having certain political views again. I thought about using a tanning bed, but I don't want my views to be fake.

Wonder if all the @hqtrivia players have seen this video? A must see! youtube.com/watch?v=2LyVVbhv… @ScottRogowsky

If two vegans have an argument is it still beef?

#Texas #prepping for #HurricaneHarvey #flooding. Must have lots of food, water, tarps & a wooden club in case a baby seal swims by #Sebert

After seeing the #VaginaChallenge I decided to go outside and try yelling penis...I'm no longer allowed to go near playgrounds and schools.

“If the glove doesn’t fit, you must acquit” … Yeah, and if you acquit, you’re full of shit! #OJSimpson #OJ

Why do these SJW "protesters" always look like such freaks who haven't washed in the last decade? #g20protest #G20Summit #G20

“Twitter? … I hardly know her!” #dadjokes #dads #FathersDay

Remember that time #KathyGriffin was funny? Me neither.