Dan Read

I think I am back

“Relief is the greatest pleasure.” ^affirm or deny

Katie thinks my superpower is falling asleep quick. My superpower is actually waking up super early.

Spilled popcorn in the basement is like my children’s way of saying “I want a pet mouse” #dadlife

The mark of a good country song is to make it sound like it is making fun of a country song.

The binary programmer in me always gets so turned on looking at a clock this time of day

Micaiah: “Are they married yet?” McKenna: “Not yet, but they are fully engaged.”

When counting two minutes you will find it easier to count to 60 twice, rather than 2 sixty times. #lifeobservation

Remember when we ended up borrowing all that money from our kids but then couldn’t pay them back? #stimuluschecks

Are we practicing safety or compliance? #WearYourMask

Just over here sobbing after watching #ItsAWonderfulLife for the first time in twenty years. It means so much more as an adult and especially as a small business owner

But what if the last one is a chewy one? #whopperroulette

This far-right truck appears to be making some liberal headway

Some days you just wake up #blessed with a no-wipe poop

Definitely read that as Life’s Over

Sometimes my wife buys fancy hand soaps that smell so realistic you want to taste them. Sometimes my 3 year old does just that.

Late to bed but early to rise makes a man fatigued yet wealthy and wise

March 23rd, 2020. The day that 60% of the American workforce discovered they were "non-essential". #COVID19OhioReady

"I had to poop so bad that I peed out of my buns" -Boaz, age 3 #kidsexplain #thatsdiarrheason