Declan Murray

To athletes who are retiring (or considering) after this season and are having trouble coming to terms with moving on. Perhaps this is potentially useful; an approach I found helpful to overcome the problem was to treat moving on from sport like having someone you love, die. It's often said "find your passion, find what you love." For athletes our problem is that we did. We did find it and we did love it. But then it got taken away (injury) or we had to leave it (time). So I thought, how would I feel/what would I do if one of my kids died, or my spouse? It would be painful beyond description. To not be with them every day; I’d be completely changed forever. Everything would remind me of them. They are a massive part of who I am. I’m deeply influenced by them in so many ways. I would miss them and remember them every day. But, I wouldn’t want to try to stop these thoughts or try to forget them. I'd embrace the memories and the time we had together. I’d dwell on regrets about the things we didn’t get to do, or how much better I could have been. I’d also dwell on memories about incredible times, the things I did right, times when everything was the best. Importantly though, I wouldn’t go searching for someone or something new to replace them. They are too unique, too special to me. But, I believe I would still be able to love something different. Unique in its own way. Maybe even having some of the same qualities. And I’d still think about them. I believe this is ok. After coming to this conclusion, I used it as my approach with moving on from sport. I love it. I loved being with it. But we couldn’t be together anymore. It is still a massive part of who I am. So rather than try to disassociate and move on (which I tried for many years and failed) I now allow memories to come to mind whenever they do. And that's a lot because most of my experiences in life up to this point have to do with sport. Various things throughout the day remind me of it. I use sport analogies to understand new things. Most of how I think and approach life comes from lessons I learned as an athlete. I believe this is ok. It's also much easier from a mental friction standpoint. I'm remain more connected to the sport and the people in it. Overall, it is ok to continue to think about and be influenced by something loved and lost. So the question was; how to find something new? What has similar qualities of sport (since I was attracted to those things in the first place) but in different fields that seem interesting or important? What has competition, something national or global in nature, something that pushes the limits of human ingenuity and performance? Something with a goal people admire or get excited about? Or something people deeply respect because of the skill and knowledge required to do it? Something that is both an art and science? These are the guiding questions for me personally. And they are why I’m attracted to space exploration, energy, and technologies that advance human performance. Hopefully useful to some.