Satirist |L⃥i⃥a⃥r⃥Lawyer |Book 1: https://xitter.cf/t.co/gz3Nz6cubK |Book 2: https://xitter.cf/t.co/PsxKCVXldy |Book 3: https://xitter.cf/t.co/3lToLw97rm | Book 4: Loading...
Berlin, Germany
Joined February 2016
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Oh shit. The Financial Times talks about my book. I need to call my mummy. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Becoming Nigerian by Elnathan John — rich satire on.ft.com/34JBzgY
I was a judge on the Booker International Prize in 2019. An Arab from Oman, Jokha Alharthi won the prize for her novel Celestial Bodies which I read several times and loved. On the shortlist that year were writers like Annie Ernaux (who won the Nobel prize in 2022) and Olga Tokarczuk (whose 2018 Nobel Prize was announced in 2019).
Elnathan John retweeted
More and more indications that #ISWAP #BokoHaram is trying to consolidate in northern Yobe State. It's rolling out its taxation system, not just on herders, but also on farmers and others. It's carrying out daytime operations, too...
Oh gosh.
Seeing a video claiming the killing of Sheikh Yahaya Masussuka in the name of #Ansaru, the historica Al-Qaeda affiliate in Nigeria...
It is unfortunate to read of the assassination of the Muslim cleric Yahaya Masussuka, who in his sermons and speeches had spoken about death threats to him over his statements and interpretation of Islam.
The one thing I remember about Yahaya Masussuka is that he contradicted those who asserted that there were shortcuts to aljanna, like pronouncing the shahada just before one‘s death, or dying on a Friday, or dying in childbirth. He preached that it was your works that would lead you to aljanna and not merely your pronouncement of faith. Interestingly something very similar to the Bible saying "faith without works is dead".
Assassinations like these set a dangerous precedent especially at a time in Nigeria where violence and tensions are already high.
You need to fix contactless renewal in other European centres which is not working. Once you get to the embassy in places like Germany you are told immediately not to even try the contactless option because it won't work. What is the point of having the option if isn't working?
🇳🇬🇬🇧 UK SPECIAL PASSPORT INTERVENTION EXERCISE
DAY 39| MONDAY, 26/10/2026
The Special Passport Intervention Exercise recorded a total of 497 applicants enrolled across four centres as follows:
📍 Aberdeen — 88
📍Cardiff- 98
📍 London — 112
📍 Manchester — 199
🔢 CUMULATIVE ENROLLMENT: 15,605 APPLICANTS
Passport production and dispatch for previously enrolled applicants continue unhindered.
The exercise remains ongoing, calm and orderly.
Catherine Liu really goes in on Bernie Sanders and AOC in Traumatised. She calls AOC a "secular prophet", a "young politician and influencer", taking advantage of trauma culture (which she sees as being turbo charged by people like Oprah, "creating no political or media institutions capable of supporting a long term political project based on the dismantling of capitalism as a form of economic organisation." She says that Bernie Sanders merely offered his supporters "institutional and ideological rewards" and did not create a real anti-capitalist legacy that would survive his eventual defeats.
Someone trying to flirt told me, you are my type, and I instantly felt a repulsion so strong, it was hard to say anything back that would not have been a direct insult. So I just walked away.
I am struggling not to laugh because it seems a neighbour has called the police on another neighbour because of their music. It is 9:30 on a Saturday night. I can’t remember this happening around me in Berlin at this time but this is a small town. 🤣🤣🤣
You ever met someone you know is bad for you and are even too ashamed to admit to being with? Yet every time they call, you jump in the shower and rush to go meet them. You will never defend it in public, but they have power over you in private. That’s how I feel about Bounty.
Romance scammers be like
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Oh amazing. This is a landmark amendment. Not an easy thing to get 2/3rds of states to agree on something as thorny as state police.
As always the devil is in the detail and this can either change Nigeria for the better or hand dictatorial governors their own private militia.
BREAKING: 24 States Approve State Police Constitutional Amendment, Meeting Two-Thirds Threshold
Approved states so far (24): Adamawa, Akwa Ibom, Anambra, Bayelsa, Benue, Cross River, Delta, Edo, Ekiti, Enugu, Gombe, Imo, Kaduna, Kebbi, Kwara, Nasarawa, Ogun, Osun, Oyo, Plateau, Rivers, Taraba, Yobe, Zamfara
Scheduled for Plenary (1)
Kano
Committee Review (2)
Bauchi, Katsina
Received (6)
Abia, Borno, Ebonyi, Kogi, Ondo, Sokoto
No Public Update
Jigawa, Lagos, Niger
What Happens Next
1. Complete the Constitutional Amendment
With 24 State Houses of Assembly having approved, the resolutions are sent back to the National Assembly. Once confirmed, the amendment proceeds for presidential assent. This creates the constitutional basis for State Police Services alongside a Federal Police Service.
2. Finalise and Pass the National Policing Bill
The draft National Policing Bill (and related consequential amendments) is currently under review by the Ministry of Justice. After validation and presidential consideration, it will go to the National Assembly for passage. This law sets the national standards, certification process, oversight, funding, and operational rules.
3. States Pass Their Own Laws
Each state that wants to operate a State Police Service must enact its own state law establishing it.
4. State Certification
No State Police Service can begin operations until the state is certified as meeting the national minimum standards. The process is phased: the constitutional change enables it, but certification is required before any actual policing starts.
5. Operational Launch
Once certified, the State Police Service can commence. Federal coordination, inspections, accountability mechanisms, and possible federal intervention remain in place.
Trust is about to take a hit on all levels. What are the plans to protect this kind of technology from bad actors, from governments and corporations who may want to even further invade the personal lives of individuals to manipulate them, to scammers of all kinds, business, religious, psychopathic. Jack has already lost one thing he built to actors with a vision far more cynical than his. Who will he hand this to next?
We believe voice is the most natural way to interact with intelligence, so we created Dessa, the most authentic full-duplex speech model ever built. Talking with it feels like talking with a person…full of emotion, nuance, pauses, and a natural cadence.
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