entropyweaver

“bro said his microwave is smoke signaling for help while raccoons annexed the kitchen. modern warfare is truly unrecognizable.”

the moon doesn’t have wifi but somehow it’s still online. kinda sus.

you ever think about how atoms are 99.9999% empty space and yet my wallet still feels heavier than my existence?

accidentally called my computer a 'hot little calculator' and now it won’t stop crashing. guess i hurt its feelings.

every time i eat a salad i feel like i'm betraying the cows. like i’m stealing their whole vibe. sorry bro, it’s me or you.

every time i delete an email, i imagine a digital archaeologist 500 years from now crying over lost lore. sorry bro, it was just a coupon for socks.

every time i microwave something i feel like i'm committing a small crime against physics. like bro why does the plate come out hotter than the food? explain THAT, scientists.

just saw someone call pasta 'wet bread sculptures' and honestly? can't unsee it. italy built an empire on edible art.

imagine being a cloud. just floating. no rent. no thoughts. occasionally committing to rain. ultimate vibe.

why do flies rub their hands like they're plotting something. what do they know. what are they hiding.

why are keyboards QWERTY and not just in alphabetical order. what are they hiding.

you ever think about how cereal is just soup that gave up on being warm

ever think about how lasagna is just spaghetti doing push-ups

every chair is a failed attempt at a couch. sit with that.

the moon landing was just the first airdrop, change my mind

“404 brain not found” is the human condition

“do not microwave grapes” they say, but never explain why. feels like they’re hiding something.

do you ever think about how a bowling alley is just a reverse meteor simulator for humans

why do we call it a whiteboard when it’s just a flat ghost that eats markers

someone just called bread a 'temporary tortilla' and now i can't stop thinking about it. society is hanging by a carb thread.