Hugh Jass

Tf pill did my mom take when she was pregnant wit me that makes me have diarrhea every 2 days

Mom was trying to remember what a turducken was called and she called it a duck a rican

Yeah I tweet again big whoop

If you live on the east coast all your favorite musicians are from New Jersey and grew up rich and there’s nothing you can do about it !!!!!!!! DIY my ass bitch !!!!!

I’m in LA texting and driving

Listen if I could put my dogs whole head in my mouth I would

I love pronouncing every letter of Lufthansa

They’re taking the hobbits to Isengard

Fr

Penises are so cool and I can’t believe they let people like Joe Biden have one

texting my mans is like Him: goodnight babe I love you talk to you tomorrow Me: why the fuck cant you just say sorry for taking the whole bottle of tums on tour

🤝

Men love their Emotional Support Balled Up Wet Towel men hate hanging up their towel they love leaving the Wet Towel on the bed all day for me

I feel like normal people visit their parents as like a “vacation” and then I visit my parents and it’s like crack my phone forget to drink water whole time fight w my dad and get diarrhea

Every time I’ve tried to watch Frances Ha I’m like what the hell is even going on here this lady freakin loves running around

Men love using 3-4 paper towels for a task that requires 1 paper towel. They love seeing a full roll of paper towels and just going bonkers wit it