“… a crossword constructor from Chicago and a keeper of about thirty thousand honeybees.”— The New Yorker

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Joined December 2010
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i’m learning that baseball overtime is not sudden death
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annoying to be bleeding from my head when i have a hockey game to go to late rlmao
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i didnt know this was a thing that could happen??
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custom jacket that doesn’t fit is crazy
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sextina acab-fina retweeted
Sports betting took over the drug game lol
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i'm only allowed to be on hinge during daylight savings time so i'm speedrunning some horrible decisions this week before i go into hibernation
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drunk cig with a girl you’ve known since middle school
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sextina acab-fina retweeted
An Illinois racoon got so fat that he got stuck in a sewer grate, forcing police to show up and free him. Images via the Zion Police Department
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sextina acab-fina retweeted
Nobody talks about how long you can walk if you are lowkey mentally Insane.
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people got mad at me when DMX died and i was talking about how hot he was and perhaps the timing was wrong but i was right
DMX as Silk in Romeo Must Die (2000), wearing a Joey Richi silk panther shirt. Wardrobe by Sandra J. Blackie.
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sextina acab-fina retweeted
snoopy comic of the day
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the moment 'luteal phase' comes out of someones mouth i know i never have to take them seriously ever again
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the problem with alanon is i catch myself saying shit like "serenity" and "restored me to sanity" with an earnestness that would make a past version of myself vomit
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u will never guess who just called me
the cult i accidentally interviewed with last year is STILL HIRING for the same position
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my dad did it twice says it “wasn’t great”
i bet driving into a tree feels good as fuck
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soul-rotted evil business practices aside, alamo drafthouse has expanded their n/a cocktail menu which is great news for the likes of me
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you can't go to alamo from april-october because of the cubs which is fine because it's actually the ideal place to to have an existential crisis, alone, in the rain after paying $20 to see eyes wide shut on christmas eve
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went for a walk and came back to an email from someones ai agent so i'm going for another walk bye lmao
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sextina acab-fina retweeted
Adam Silver looked at the unemployment rate and said fuck it start the season at 3pm
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