Former CTO & CISO Starling Bank, coder, author. Novel: https://nitter.gq/t.co/h0QzBFHSTM. Views my own or not even mine. @gmorpheme@mas.to @gmorpheme.bsky.social.
London, England
Joined February 2009
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OK - shameless self promotion: my novel Coldwake is on sale on Kindle for only 99p / 99¢ for the next week. If you read books on Kindle, go on - give it a try > coldwake.wtf
Real AI in software engineering would be opening any github project written by academics more than 3 months in the past and automatically resolving the spaghetti of conda, pip & os dependencies to the point the thing could ever actually be run.
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Greg Hawkins retweeted
"Here's to Lancashire"-#EvertonFC Dixie Dean raising a toast to the FA Cup staying in Lancashire and joined by #ManchesterCity Sam Cowen, who seconds Dixie's toast (1933)
Greg Hawkins retweeted
By the way, no way am I leaving Twitter. This place is like a lovely pub, that got taken over by some soulless pub company and with a full on wazzock as a new landlord. But I was here first and I’m staying.
Greg Hawkins retweeted
The 2024 General Election if Not Voting counted as a vote for the 'Apathy Party':
Apathy: 611, 40.3%
LDM: 22, 7.3%
LAB: 13, 20.1%
GRN: 2, 4.0%
CON: 1, 14.2%
RFM: 0, 8.5%
Others: 1, 5.6%
Apathy majority of 572.
Greg Hawkins retweeted
Y'all. Seriously.
Hardly anyone even understands the unbelievable depth of Tolkien's linguistic genius. If ever there was an artist just straight up making jokes that only he would ever get, omg. So get this, it's epic.
You know the "Brandywine River" in Lord of the Rings?
Greg Hawkins retweeted
Still find it hilarious that the Team GB skateboarding squad is just a bunch of children and a 50 year old man
Greg Hawkins retweeted
This is a fantastic insight about brand choice in a social setting.
From @rorysutherland
Greg Hawkins retweeted
Just wanted to share quickly how lovely yesterday felt in Southport; a total contrast to the night before. 🧵
The mosque and people’s garden walls were rebuilt by builders and bricklayers volunteering their time and labour:
Greg Hawkins retweeted
Some people still have faith in the government's ability to deliver large scale IT programmes
Greg Hawkins retweeted
CrowdStrike CEO is getting pummeled for his response to the global outage.
Why everyone hates it:
1) WEAPONS-GRADE CORPO SPEAK
Let’s be clear. Legalese doublespeak is designed to dodge and obfuscate rather than inform or communicate. This statement was obviously written by a committee of lawyers and middle managers whose only goal was to avoid legal risk and threats to their own job security.
If you can’t understand what the statement is even saying, it’s working as intended.
2) NO APOLOGY
The first words should be “I’m sorry” — but you won’t find that anywhere in this statement. Nor the watered down “I take responsibility.” Not even the weasely “We regret…” Nothing!
It comes off as cowardly and callous. CrowdStrike caused an outage that took down airlines, a stock exchange, hospitals, ICUs. People might have died.
And the CEO is not sorry.
3) PASSIVE VOICE THROUGHOUT
This is such classic move to avoid accountability, it’s even become a joke: “Mistakes were made!”
This statement is almost comical in its efforts to dodge assigning responsibility.
“This issue has been identified…a fix has been deployed.”
Which issue? (Global outage)
Who caused the issue? (You, CrowdStrike)
What fix? (🤷🏻♀️)
Did it work? (🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️)
4) DISMISSING CUSTOMERS
Don’t bother us with your petty complaints of power going out in your local hospital!
“We refer customers to the support portal” and “we further recommend customers ensure they’re communicating with representatives through official channels.”
You, the customer, are bothering us and making our lives harder.
5) USELESS INFORMATION
So many words, so little meaning. This statement says nothing useful — not what the problem was, who caused it, what they learned, what the fix it, how long it might take, what they’re working on, or anything at all.
It assigns extra work to the customer by telling them to go through official channels but does NOT then link to the official channels. The onus is on you, customers!
If you want to learn more about how CrowdStrike has ruined your day, you go do the work.
Greg Hawkins retweeted
A subtle England penalty shootout innovation (since 2021) is their deliberate, structured & functional use of social psychology.
Here, Saka is picked up by John Stones after his penalty, to swiftly welcome him back in the team.
What did England do and why did they do it?
1/7
Greg Hawkins retweeted
Britain, Friday: “Wow! Look at all that tactical voting to keep out the right. Unprecedented!”
France, Sunday: “Tiens ma biere”
