I get weird after 8pm
Joined June 2014
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A stripper was about to pour whipped cream in my mouth tonight and that's just an awkward time to tell someone you're a vegan.
Dijon Mustard retweeted
Ok so don’t get mad at me if this is you I am genuinely asking...... what about Disney World/Land.... is so appealing to grown adults that they’re emotional they haven’t been in like a year
Dijon Mustard retweeted
6 months.
One $1200 stimulus check.
If that doesn't convince you we need to flip the Senate, I don't know what will.
Dijon Mustard retweeted
Megan Thee Stallion is literally a college student on a mission to save the planet while promoting girl power and yall mad bout her lyrics when it’s 20 yo rappers with 8 kids and STDs that rap about eating cereal bowls of percs, but of course the black woman is the bad example..
I have a question. When people win $10,000-$50,000 on a game show, is it taxed? Like, you're eating frickin stinkbugs on Fear Factor, thinking "$50k will be worth it" but then it ends up being alarmingly less? jw.
86%Yes
0%No
14%go to bed
14 votes • Final results
Dijon Mustard retweeted
We only rate dogs. This is a meteorite that has fallen from a clearly superior part of the galaxy. Please only send dogs. Thank you... 14/10
Dijon Mustard retweeted
cow farts & burps are no laughing matter. they release methane, contributing to climate change. that’s why we’re working to change our cows’ diet by adding lemongrass to reduce their emissions by approximately 33%. learn about our ongoing study: bk.com/sustainability #CowsMenu
Dijon Mustard retweeted
I usually fully blur out faces but I need you guys to also notice his emoji choices
Oh this hits @_staringcontest
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if you're a dude who has ever muttered h O p E f U l L y you're on the pill to a girl post fuck, you should be very enraged by the fact the government controls who has access to birth control.
Dijon Mustard retweeted
unfortunately we will not cover the medicine that keeps you from throwing up from pain every month. but we have a good reason! a lady ate an apple in our favorite book
