Heidi Young-Thompson

For living without control God, I come to you as I am. It is all I have, really. And the next one I’m conscious of will be the same. I can feel the way I move, moment to moment, without the comfort of “solutions.” It seems wild to me now how I imagined any once-and-for-all cure for this, or a master plan to ensure things will work out. But, truth be told, that’s always been my secret hope. So, Lord, let’s try again. I’m begging for a new plan. I want a plan that is an “unplan.” I must keep moving and planning, trying and changing, knitting my days together even as they unravel. So can we do this together? Remind me to pray: come Lord and quiet the worry. I step, and you steady me. I give, and you keep my hands open. I act, and you fortify me with courage to try and try and try again. This life is uncertain, Lord, but your love is not. You tell the story of my life regardless of how little I know about how it ends, except to say, you were there since the beginning and you appear on every page.