Ifeoma

One of the greatest signs of ministerial maturity is knowing what not to say, where not to say it, and when not to say anything at all. Dear Minister, please learn these simple but profound rules of engagement. 1. Never turn the pulpit into a courtroom to defend yourself against personal allegations. The pulpit is primarily for the ministry of the Word, not the litigation of personal controversies. There are appropriate channels for allegations, investigations, accountability and justice. Use them! Your congregation came to hear Christ, not your defence counsel! 2. Never use the pulpit to fight other ministers. The pulpit is not a battlefield for settling ministerial rivalries, personal disagreements or unresolved grievances. Paul said, "We preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord" (2 Corinthians 4:5). The moment your personal battles become the substance of your preaching, you risk making yourself the centre of a platform meant to exalt Christ. 3. Never make public what wisdom can resolve privately. Jesus established a principle of private engagement in Matthew 18:15–17, with escalation where necessary. Not every disagreement requires a congregation. Not every offence requires an audience. Not every misunderstanding deserves a sermon. If a matter can be resolved in a room, why drag it before a crowd? 4. When attacked on social media, learn the discipline of strategic silence. You do not have to respond to every accusation, insult, provocation or malicious interpretation. There is a psychological principle called the extinction of attention-maintained behaviour: when attention is the reward sustaining certain behaviours, withholding that attention can sometimes reduce them. Some controversies survive because the people being attacked keep supplying fresh material! Your response can become the oxygen keeping the controversy alive. 5. Understand the Streisand Effect. This is the phenomenon whereby attempts to suppress or control unwanted publicity inadvertently attract even greater attention to it. In trying to defend yourself against an allegation nobody knew about, you may introduce it to thousands who would otherwise never have heard it! You may end up becoming the chief distributor of the very allegation you are trying to defeat. 6. Understand the psychology of escalation. Conflict escalation theory helps explain how repeated exchanges can transform a manageable disagreement into an increasingly destructive confrontation. One post invites a response. The response invites a counter-response. Soon, the original issue is forgotten, and the conflict itself becomes the entertainment. You cannot extinguish every digital fire by pouring more words into it. 7. Learn the difference between silence and irresponsibility. Strategic silence does not mean covering up wrongdoing, evading accountability or refusing legitimate investigations. Serious allegations must be handled through appropriate legal, safeguarding, governance and disciplinary processes. Sometimes a brief, factual statement is necessary to protect others, correct consequential misinformation or fulfil a duty of accountability. But accountability is not the same thing as public argument, and silence on social media is not silence before the appropriate authorities. 8. Finally, learn the wisdom of Proverbs 26:4–5. One verse says not to answer a fool according to his folly. The next teaches that there are circumstances in which an answer is necessary. That is not contradiction. That is discernment! Wisdom knows when to speak and when silence is the superior response. Ecclesiastes 3:7 calls it "a time to keep silence, and a time to speak." Dear Minister, Not every allegation deserves a sermon. Not every insult deserves a response. Not every disagreement deserves an audience. Not every controversy deserves your platform. And certainly, not every social media battle deserves your participation.