nora: how are you feeling today?
patch: not so good, i have this weird headache that comes and goes
nora: what-
scott [enters the room]: sup guys
patch: there it is
vee: so... are you the big spoon or the little spoon?
patch: i’m a knife
nora [screaming from another room]: he’s the little spoon
patch: you were stabbed , do you remember anything?
nora: no, just the ambulance ride to the hospital
patch: but i drove you
nora: but i swear i heard a siren
patch: oh... that was just scott screaming
scott: i got nervous, my bad
patch: have you already tried flirting with vee?
scott: hello? of course and i gave her “the look”
patch: ok show me
[scott bites his lip seductively]
patch: um... have you considered bitting your bottom lip?
scott *being over dramatic*: i am a complete failure
vee: yes, you are
scott: I’ve completely failed at life
nora: yes, you have
scott *annoyed*: i could use some words of encouragement guys
patch: yes, you could
scott: sup patch, can i ask you something that may annoy you a little bit?
patch: since when do you ask for permission?
rixon: how the hell did you find me
patch: easy, i just listened for the sound of complete and utter and betrayal and followed it
patch: i only feel on kind of emotion and it is anger
scott: oh right, last night you drunk texted me a thousand heart emojis
patch: out of anger
police officer: tell me your names
scott: don’t say anything, patch
police officer: *writes down* patch...
patch: *sarcastically* oh great, good job, scott
police officer: *writes down* scott...
patch: shit
nora: what do you want to do tonight?
patch: eat tacos
nora: ...something more romantic
patch: eat tacos in the rain?
patch: as much as i hate to admit it, i guess nora would’ve wanted us to get along
scott: it’s true, this is what she would have wanted
nora *from across the room*: stop talking like i’m dead
waiter: so what would you like to order?
scott: can i get a milkshake with two straws, please?
vee *blushing*: scott, that’s so —
scott *putting both straws in his mouth*: watch how fast i can drink now.


