lady lesbian

i know roughly 37 languages and i cannot accurately express in any of them how hot women are.

i ain’t dead you can’t kill a bad bitch

sif: just be yourself, say something nice! loki: which one? i can’t do both

darcy: i made you this friendship bracelet sif: im not really a jewelry person darcy: you don’t have to wear it sif: no im gonna wear it forever back off

loki: tomorrow is garbage day sif: i can’t believe there’s a whole day dedicated to you

thor: what are your favorite colors? sif: jane and darcy sif: wait what was the question

jane: are you taken? sif: yeah, for granted

frigga: there are seven chairs but ten children. what do you do? sif: have everyone stand thor: the best seven of the lot can sit down loki: kill three heimdall: just bring three more chairs you blibbering idiots

[skipping stones on a lake] sif: it’s such a beautiful evening darcy: *whispering* take that you fucking lake

you’re very, VERY correct

jane: tell me that isn’t a bomb sif: okay, it’s a kitten. it’s an adorable, exploding kitten

this just in: steve rogers isn’t allowed to masturbate (source is 100% reliable i promise)

there’s a very short list of men who i don’t hate with a burning passion and that list consists of thor and heimdall

((i did it gays))

((i heard SE Hinton is blocking people who says her characters are gay,,, im going to try it))

i was so close to falling asleep and then i discovered a mosquito bite on my foot, which i will now proceed to scratch until it bleeds (big fuck you to Thanos for not just killing all mosquitoes in the world)

does anyone else remember those times when blues clues would turn completely live action (no animation) and blue was like a talking puppet and the house was all weird or was six year old me just tripping