Ian Goodrum retweeted
OLD COLOMBIAN MAN: (pointing desperately at the ornate casket) Peligroso! Peligroso! No lo abras! No lo abras! es muy peligroso!
OLD BRITISH EXPLORER: gods man! what is he saying?
ME(LIED ON MY RESUME ABOUT SPEAKING SPANISH): he says its safe he says we should open it its safe
Ian Goodrum retweeted
Film bro drinking a beer: This is the most important beer of the 21st century. It may even be the last beer.
Ian Goodrum retweeted
Probably not the best idea to vocalize this but I feel like saying "first day of earth?" to a slow NYC walker in Midtown would feel better than any drug
Ian Goodrum retweeted
El que no tiene problemas para elegir películas para ver es mi viejo. El abre Netflix, pone play a la primera que tenga en la portada a un tipo con un arma y procede a estar dos horas así:
Ian Goodrum retweeted
glenn close: por qué tu abuelo escondió por toda su vida la bola negra?
automáticamente el siguiente plano: sacando a los custodiados para fusilarles
la gente: no sé por qué sebastián tenía miedo de revelar la bola negra
Ian Goodrum retweeted
James Joyce solved this problem 100 years ago: The solution is not to put yourself in a mental cuck chair for the sake of their ex but to instead reflect upon mortality and the nature of love.
Ian Goodrum retweeted
Primetime (2026) pulls off a lot of unprecedented cinematic tricks but perhaps the most ingenious one is using a character's passion for the musical Rent as a symbol of profound naivety
Ian Goodrum retweeted
no offense to like 80% of you but I do genuinely think I’m a better person for having never placed a bet on sports













































