me: whose *gulp* whose pussy is this her: me: i said whose— her: i heard you

better to be pissed on than pissed off

is it cool if i stick my proboscis in you

nibble on my ear if i’m wrong but um nvm just nibble on my ear

am i allowed to make an “i hate gay halloween” joke as a straight man? i’m not homophobic i just like the joke format conceptually

can i *** ** ******* *** *******?

“i miss us” to someone you’ve never talked to before >>>

normalize taking everything as a personal attack and getting defensive and thinking people are out to get you

this is propaganda we just don’t want other men to see and try to take you from us we’re just super protective and a bit territorial 🥺

women be like my love language is gift receiving

“i block you = i own you”

using my sensitive young man status for evil

work potlucks or office lunch catering events shouldn’t count as your unpaid lunch hour i do not wanna talk to you guys for free

i feel like hornets would sense my peaceful presence and be friendly if i got too close to their nest

i’m like if a princess locked away in a tall castle tower was a man

i overly need to overly use the restroom before i overly shit myself in an overly fashion overly

my dick is fully detachable and comes with a free year subscription to microsoft office

labubu girl pussy gave me penis explosion syndrome i have reattachment surgery this weekend

if you have pierced nipples hi

have you seen my height boosters and bulge sweatpants

when i don’t have some type of savory snack to munch on i turn evil