@jakebackpack

Novelist. Critic. Books about crooks.

 Extended Greater Appalachia
jacobbacharach.com
Joined May 2009
  • Tweets78
  • Following906
  • Followers24.9K
9Media
I gotta believe that green juice, detoxification, and intermittent fasting will cure it.
The Wall Street Journal
@WSJ20h
It took about five minutes for Jesse Dalton’s iPhone Duo dream to shift into nightmare mode. He had only opened and closed the Duo four or five times when the hinge got stuck at a 45-degree angle. Dalton tried to pry it open and heard a loud pop. 🔗 on.wsj.com/3UrzwNd
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I wrote a sonnet about my Cheesecake Factory tweets making the national news.
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jacobbacharach.com/2026/10/2…

Prometheus Ground Round

My Cheesecake Factory tweets have madethe national news. Not since Joyce or Prousthas language by its little self producedsuch wild invention; Xerxes in the piney shadecouldn’t moan more; nor Orphe…

jacobbacharach.com
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Chris Sommerfeldt@C_SommerfeldtOct 26
New: Mayor Zohran Mamdani and a group of his friends have been secretly using the NYPD Police Academy’s gymnasium in Queens to play pickup basketball — scrambling some operations at the facility. w/ @GrahamRayman & @joeanuta politico.com/news/2026/10/26…

Mamdani is using NYPD gym to host pickup basketball games with friends

politico.com
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This is as close as gay men of my era will ever get to seeing Tab Hunter in a date with Natalie Wood.
Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent
@SecScottBessentOct 26
.@BarackObama I recommend the Cheeseburger Spring Rolls.
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I'll beat this dead horse until it comes back to life: not only do Jews and Muslims share status as tiny minorities in the US, but Judaism and Islam are far, far more similar to each other as religions than either is to Christianity.
Politics & Poll Tracker 📡
@PollTracker2024Oct 26
MSU/YouGov: Only 11% of Jewish likely voters in Michigan hold a negative view towards Muslims. 34% of Michigan likely voters hold a negative view towards Muslims.
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Honestly tickled that The UPS Store just misses the top quartile of American chain snobbisme.
Jeff Stein
@jstein_sunOct 26
Is The Cheesecake Factory Really a Restaurant for Regular Americans? Here’s what the data show washingtonsun.com/policy/che…
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Homo floresiensis Don Rickles
Bulwark Clips
@BulwarkClipsOct 25
Rally speaker: "Mike Rogers is an American. Abdul has a birth certificate. The birth certificate says he's a citizen of America. You know what? a birth certificate doesn't make you an American."
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I remember the first time I saw myself *represented* in a major Hollywood blockbuster...
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À chaque Rubio son propre Parthénon.
Evan Barker
@evanwchOct 24
Does Obama not understand that to most Americans the Cheesecake Factory is a very nice and fancy restaurant?
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Tapping my "One-time downloads are not use" sign.
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The Big Lebowski
HAWK
@HawkEmDownChrisOct 20
You can’t say Rocky, Remember the Titans, Coach Carter, or The Sandlot. What’s the greatest sports movie of all time?
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I wrote a sonnet about turning the Titanic around overnight.
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jacobbacharach.com/2026/10/2…

The White Star Lyin’

You don’t turn the Titanic around overnight.You do not turn that boat around at all.You steam ahead. The night begins to fall.The women put on pearls, the men their whitedinner jackets. The b…

jacobbacharach.com
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I wrote a sonnet about Texas turning into Paris, France if you don't vote Republican.
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jacobbacharach.com/2026/10/2…

A Far, Far Better Thing

Texas will turn into Paris, France, if youand your family do not vote Republican.Lake Austin or the Rio Grande, the Seine.They’ll moules-et-frites your humble barbecueand vanish when l’addition is …

jacobbacharach.com
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Bring back NFTs at this point.
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