I don’t know if you can tell by the cadence of my prose but I recently downloaded a new astrology app. It described my essence as “unreliable rodeo clown”.
Joseph Green retweeted
At times, the joy that life attacks me with is unbearable and leads to gasping hysterical laughter. I find myself completely out of control and wonder how could life could surprise me again and again and again, so completely. How could a man be a cynic? It is a sin.
Joseph Green retweeted
The undisputed scallywag of comedy; @joegreencomedy has such a unique voice and I implore you to see his show #micf #show30
“Now put your hands together for the very talented, Joseph Green.” - Every MC I’ve ever had. nitter.gq/lukacmuller/status/982…
Joseph Green retweeted
Seeing the man the myth the legend @joegreencomedy tonight, going to be a ripper of a show. Come on down to The Upstairs Lounge @ Hairy Little Sista #MICF #comedy #dreamerexamineshispillow – at Sandringham, Melbourne
My brother just reminded me that he caught me masturbating on an ergonomic chair when i was a teenager. Normally I’d say “shut up you liar” but a week before the comedy festival I took a paper and pen and said “tell me everything”.
Porn on the internet has made us addicted to instant gratification which produces dopamine. It’s better to cultivate genuine connection and collaboration which produces seratonin.The lesson? Stop watching porn, start making it.
Someone wrote a book called ‘the life changing magic of not giving a fuck’ & then a few years later someone wrote a book called ‘the subtle art of not giving a fuck’ & sold way more copies. Fortunately the first writer doesn’t care. And neither does anybody else.
A fold out bed is the best reminder that life could always be worse but it could also be a whole lot better.
A man at an open mic told me he‘d written a screenplay that was a “shoe-in” to win an Oscar. And if it didn’t win he would be “very surprised”. Imagine bombing onstage then your inner-monologue being “at least I’ve got a screenplay that’s a shoe-in to win an academy award.”
Post Beatles blues, out of work drummer, the agent calls, “Ringo, you know the audition you did for the talking blue train? YOU GOT THE JOB!” Talk about a revolution!
Joseph Green retweeted
Cheeky little snap of @joegreencomedy and his 6 Club pic from the latest episode
Joseph Green retweeted
Bloody awesome new episode is out now!
@MurphyMcLachlan is joined by @AJ_Taco @JacqMifsud and @joegreencomedy
MP3: traffic.libsyn.com/beereye/E…
iTunes:
itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/…
Me: I have value. I HAVE VALUE.
My accountant: your total value is minus $6,500 + a toaster.
Me: well mate, it’s a f’n good toaster.
My ex-girlfriend: when can I come get my toaster?
Kevin Spacey auditioned for the lead role in the film “Call me by your name” but the director said he was “too natural”.
I'd love to listen to my mum's voice mail but this @VLine train ride is only two hours.
I just drove a tesla while listening to Baby Driver. I think I'm finally ready to rob a bank, kill Jon Hamm and live happily ever.
