jvwftw (@johnvanwinkle) profile picture
Joined September 2008
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#MNTwins broadcaster Cory Provus was talking about a Twins fan battling terminal cancer when Jake Burger launched one to center. And then Provus hit us with: “Swing and a drive by Castellanos…” He followed it with the rest of the call, creating one of the most surreal home-run moments imaginable. What timing. #MNTwins | #MLB | #AllForTX
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Lanterns Season 2 Renewal ‘Not Imminent’ Despite 10 Million Viewers cosmicbook.news/lanterns-sea…
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Don’t be ridiculous. AI isn’t going to kill you. Cobra is going to kill you.
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How many times have you watched the Nathan Fielder/Elizabeth Holmes doc trailer?
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Stateside, a gas station. I drank a frozen blue beverage too quickly, and was struck down by a punishment this entire nation knows, and accepts, and has named. The drink is called a slush. Ice, sweetness, and a blue that does not occur in nature. The day was hot. I was thirsty. I drank like a soldier at a river. The pain arrived in my skull like a war horn. Behind the eyes. Above everything. Total. I gripped the roof of my car. I may have made a sound. "Brain freeze," said the cashier through the door, with no urgency whatsoever. It has a NAME. The affliction is so common it has a household name, like a cousin. "Tongue on the roof of your mouth," called a man at the pumps. He did not look over. He prescribed the remedy mid-pump, casually, the way one mentions weather. I pressed my tongue to the roof of my mouth. The war horn faded. The healer nodded at his pump, finished, and was gone in a Chevrolet. In my land, punishment follows crime by way of courts and seasons. Here, the sentence is instant. Drink with greed, and the ice strikes the mind directly. No trial. No appeal. Perfectly fair. And here is what moves me. EVERYONE has felt it. The cashier. The healer. Children. Elders. An entire nation united by the same small lightning, all taught the same cure, all passing it on to strangers at gas stations, free of charge. You cannot fully distrust a country once you know it shares one pain. The freeze does not punish thirst. It punishes haste. I finished the slush slowly, like a scholar. Blue tongue. Clear mind. Then at the door I forgot everything, drank deeply, and was struck down again. "Tongue, hon," said the cashier, without looking up. Discipline is a journey.
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Kohl’s employees in Las Vegas seeing Fernando Mendoza and Kirk Cousins on the Raiders
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The leaker:
Kristi Noem weighs in on report husband lives cross-dressing double life: 'The family was blindsided by this' trib.al/iJEUqZZ
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A student of mine came to me last year overwhelmed by all the bullshit going on with the rise of fascism. We put this together. What to actually DO right now. Stop feeling overwhelmed. That’s what fascism wants.
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If you’re a Democrat looking to run for president in 2028, now would be a good time to find the nearest microphone and state clearly that you will prosecute every Trump Administration official enabling this state sponsored terrorism to the fullest extent of the law.
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Retweet this if you want to see the extended cut of AVATAR: FIRE & ASH.
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after appearing in INSIDE MAN, james ransone ended up on the news for beating up a rapist who broke into his apartment complex and attacked his neighbour. “he may be little but he packs a mean punch.”
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BIG MISTAKE BY DOZY DON!!!!! SPACE COMMAND BELONGS IN SAN FRANCISCO, NOT ALABAMA (A TOTAL DISASTER OF A STATE). EVERYONE KNOWS SAN FRANCISCO IS THE FUTURE HOME OF "STAR FLEET ACADEMY" ("LIVE LONG AND PROSPER"). THAT’S BECAUSE CALIFORNIA IS #1 FOR AEROSPACE, #1 FOR TECHNOLOGY, #1 FOR AI (ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE, VERY SMART PEOPLE, MUCH SMARTER THAN JD “JUST DANCE” VANCE, WHO HAS LOW IQ). SAN FRANCISCO IS THE BEST IN THE WORLD FOR ENGINEERING AND INNOVATION... ROCKETS, SOFTWARE, "THE STARTUPS.” ALABAMA’S GOVERNOR “KRAZY” KAY HAS NO IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON. JUST LIKE LITTLE HANDS, SHE IS SLOW AND BURPS A LOT. SHE HAS DONE NOTHING FOR HER PEOPLE AND MADE THE STATE VERY UNSAFE!!! A MURDER RATE 190% HIGHER THAN CALIFORNIA’S. "SPACE COMMAND" MUST BE HERE IN CALIFORNIA, THE GREATEST STATE IN AMERICA, WITH ME, THE YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL GOVERNOR GAVIN C. NEWSOM. THE SLEEPY GOLFER IN THE WHITE HOUSE DIDN’T MOVE IT HERE. HE HAS NEWSOM DERANGEMENT SYNDROME (NDS). SAD!!! — GCN
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Go support our favorite scream queen and one of my closest friends Jamie Lee Curtis - have a laugh and feel some nostalgia with Freakier Friday this weekend!!!
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I've been watching @SouthPark for all nearly 28 years, and last night was their magnum opus. Bravo to Matt Stone and Trey Parker, they have more balls than every corporation in the United States. A nice big middle finger to Donald Trump and spineless @paramountplus and @Skydance.
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bet u feel dumb right now
just remembered that americans don’t have random old castles in the countryside that they can go and visit
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Every summer, fate chooses a CEO for the sacrifice. That's the ritual.
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Blumhouse will now focus on releasing romantic comedies.
Paranormal investigator Dan Rivera dies suddenly at 54 while traveling across the US with the real ‘haunted’ Annabelle doll.
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Raiders of the Lost List
What do you suppose is @JDVance’s favorite Disneyland attraction?
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The Cromwell caught on fire this morning
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