Grownup Keem

Haunted house, except its just a room full of all the people I hugged when they were actually going for a handshake.

HR said my ethnic impressions were so good they want me to do them at an in person meeting tomorrow!

I don't know who needs to hear this:

Free bad Halloween costume ideas: Jackie O Lantern Ghouliana Rancic Freddy Prinze Krueger Tim Burton Ernie Ghost (Taylor's Version)

Was horsemen always spelled that way?

Wellness tip: start your morning with 24 hours of alone time

You mean to tell me a witch made this sand?

Shout out to instagram stores for inspiring my next AliExpress search

[shows up to the theme party] Oh BRAT I thought you said-

Tourette's? Oh you mean Whoopsie Phrasies?

My first order as president will be sentencing "I built this fyp brick by brick" commenters to building houses for the homeless brick by brick.

[Blushing] so... Is there a 22 savage?

Think I'm running low on RAM

Sometimes I wonder if I was ever combobulated to begin with

Can't believe it's been 26 seasons and they still haven't found out who that doctor is

Not often that such superb art direction and copywriting converge on a menu

Heyyy (pejorative)

Who needs a personality when you have a Pearsonality

Good job @TimHortons

Are you a trash can, or a trash CAN'T?