Kelly Herbert

Things Brits will say sorry for: -Being hit with a shopping trolley -Bumping into a cupboard -The mess in a clean house -Being ill -Someone being in their reserved seat -Having to squeeze by -Asking for the bill -Sneezing -Being short changed -Being insulted -Walking into a lamppost -Having a door held for them -Telling someone they’ve phoned the wrong number -Making a fuss -Informing someone that they’ve dropped something -Crying -Fainting -Saying sorry too much -Nothing at all

The people with whom I’ll be discussing the rain over the next week or so: 1. Family members Including frequently asking family members in other parts of the country “is it raining where you are?” 2. Colleagues Being especially sure to ask “still raining?” when a colleague appears next to me absolutely drenched. It will also be the main topic of small talk to begin every video call 3. My neighbour We shall roll our eyes, tut and say “lovely weather haha!”, both glad to have an excuse to dash inside our respective houses without looking rude 4. The supermarket checkout assistant They will ask me if it’s still raining out there and I will say “yes, it’s terrible, isn’t it?” 5. Social media I will describe the weather and someone on social media will get upset because the weather where I am isn’t exactly the same as where they are 6. The cat/dog I will say “oh you’re soaked!” and they won’t understand me 7. Myself I will stand and stare out of the window, hand on hip, other hand holding a mug, and occasionally mutter “really coming down now”