king🤴alpha 🐐 retweeted
Little Johnny walks confidently into a pharmacy ... and asks the pharmacist for a cõndõm. He explains that he's been invited to his girlfriend's house for dinner and he thinks he might have a chance.
The pharmacist sells him a cõndõm. As he's leaving, Little Johnny returns and asks for another cõndõm because he thinks his girlfriend's sister is cute too and he might have a chance there as well. The pharmacist sells him a second cõndõm.
During dinner, Little Johnny sits with his girlfriend on his left The sister on the right and the mum facing him. When the dad walks in, Johnny lowers his head and starts a long dinner prayer, thanking the Lord for all they've been given. Ten minutes pass and he's still praying, keeping his head down, very close to the table. They all turn to look at each other, surprised.
His girlfriend is shocked, not knowing how religious her boyfriend was. His girlfriend whispers, I didn't know you were so religious. Little Johnny, with his head still at the table, turns slightly and says, I never knew your dad was a pharmacist. 😂😂😂😂
king🤴alpha 🐐 retweeted
A Chinese doctor moved to the U.S. and couldn't find a job at a hospital. So he opened a small clinic and put up a bold sign that read:
“Cure for $20 — If you’re not cured, get $100 back!”
One day, a clever American lawyer saw the sign. “This looks like a scam,” he thought, “but maybe I can make a quick $100!” He walked in, feeling confident.
Lawyer: “Doctor, I’ve lost my sense of taste.”
Doctor: “Nurse, Box 22 — three drops in his mouth.”
Lawyer: “Ugh! That’s kerosene!”
Doctor: “Perfect! Your taste is back. That’ll be $20.”
A few days later, the lawyer came back.
Lawyer: “Doctor, I’ve lost my memory. I can’t remember anything.”
Doctor: “Nurse, Box 22 — three drops.”
Lawyer: “Wait! That’s kerosene again!”
Doctor: “Wonderful! Your memory is restored. That’s $20.”
Still determined, the lawyer tried one last time.
Lawyer: “Doctor, my eyesight is failing. I can’t see a thing!”
Doctor: “Ah, sorry — no cure for that. Here’s your $100.”
The doctor handed him… $20.
Lawyer (squinting): “Hey, wait a minute — this is only $20!”
Doctor: “Fantastic! Your eyesight is back. That’ll be $20.”
king🤴alpha 🐐 retweeted
DECEMBER CHALLENGE:
• No porn
• No Sugar
• No alcohol
• No Smoking
• 3 liters of water
• 6–7 hours of sleep
• 10,000+ steps daily
• 1 Cheat Day per week
• Get a Mentor/Course
• Donate $50+ for charity
• 100 push-ups every day
• Black Coffee in Evening
• Meditate for 30 minutes
• Drink water before Coffee
• Give Blessings to 5 People
• Master a High Income Skill
• Eye contact in conversation
• Travel a New Place/Museum
• 10 Positive Affirmations/Day
• Read 1 Book on Psychology
• Protein+Fiber in each meal
• Life Heavy Things 4X/Week
• Invest 25% of your income
• Hoponopono for 10 minutes
• $50/Day from Side Hustle
• Warm Water with Ginger/Day
• List 3 things you do well/Day
• Share 3 Miracles of Your Day
• Know your Blood-Lipid Profile
This isn't self-improvement. It's self-dominance.
king🤴alpha 🐐 retweeted
Like Esther, your purpose is greater than your comfort; you are placed where you are for impact.
##ILivePurposefully
king🤴alpha 🐐 retweeted
Has anyone ever seen a piece of technology that was built to do nothing? Imagine meeting the scientist who created it and asking, “What does it do?”—and he replies, “It does nothing.”
That is how some people’s lives are. That shouldn’t be you!
You were born for greatness; have you discovered it? Are you living a purposeful life? What gives your life meaning here on earth are the things whose reward is beyond this realm.
Find yourself in Christ today. Share this article with everyone!
#ILivePurposefully
king🤴alpha 🐐 retweeted
You get the best use of your devices when you follow the manual in setting it up and using it as described by the manufacturers; same way, you can't function as a Christian without being led by the Spirit of God and the Word of God.
Can't happen.
It's why everyday, we release these daily short teachings from the manual of life, for everyone globally, so we don't have 'misfiring' Christians.
Read and share!
#LivingaGreatLife
king🤴alpha 🐐 retweeted
He wasn’t supposed to be strong enough.
Not this tiny. Not this early. Not at just 5 months in the womb — born 16 weeks too soon, weighing barely more than a bottle of water.
But then came the moment no machine could replace.
His father laid back, pulled his shirt aside, and placed that fragile little body on his chest — skin to skin, heartbeat to heartbeat.
Kangaroo care, the doctors called it.
A lifeline made of warmth, breath, love. A method created for premature babies… but perfected by parents who refuse to give up.
Look at them now.
A giant of a man… and a warrior the size of his palm.
A father offering the safest place in the universe — his own heartbeat.
A son fighting with everything he has, because he knows he is not alone.
This photo isn’t just a moment.
It’s a promise.
king🤴alpha 🐐 retweeted
"Captain Ibrahim Traore, the 37-year-old leader of Burkina Faso, has introduced a groundbreaking new law that has captured the world's attention.
Under this law, thieves will no longer be sent to prison as is customary. If a person is caught for the crime of theft, they will be detained, but not in a prison. They will be forced to do government work or national development labor until they pay back the money they stole. They will only be released after they have repaid what they stole.
According to Ibrahim Traore, "We are turning theft into a form of debt repayment. Thieves will help build the nation, instead of being fed again in prisons. This is a step to protect society and improve the economy."
This new policy demonstrates a level of vision, patriotism, and genuine leadership that is rarely found in Africa.
Copied from" @UstazofArewa
