ShawnKing865 retweeted
they didn’t lie when they said you’ll wake up on random day and decide you don’t wanna deal with certain shit no more.
ShawnKing865 retweeted
Thanks @CoachJermAustin and @Coachweiss30 for the invite yesterday. It was great being back on campus and watching @MSUEaglesFB football.
@CoachMPrice @GCARamsFootball @govols21 @GCAcoachPrice
ShawnKing865 retweeted
payday used to feel like a celebration. now it's just me returning money to everyone who helped me survive the previous month
ShawnKing865 retweeted
🚨BREAKING: Retatrutide cut the protein leaking into urine by 54% in 24 weeks in people with damaged kidneys. Placebo: 9%.
They also lost 31 lb on average, and their top blood pressure number fell 14 points.
ShawnKing865 retweeted
today a woman saw me buying flowers for my girlfriend and she said to me "where do i find one like you" and i told her “right here”, because besides being romantic i'm also unfaithful
ShawnKing865 retweeted
I still cannot believe humans were gifted a planet full of trees, fruit, water, animals and sunshine and then they invented debt, capitalism and war.
ShawnKing865 retweeted
Wait what do you mean Jesus loves me? Did he say something to you? OMG I'm freaking out right now tell me his exact words.
ShawnKing865 retweeted
I don’t know who used the seashell shaped soap in the bathroom, but my gramma is about to lose her shit.
ShawnKing865 retweeted
Bad news: my period is 9 days late. Good news: the last dude I fucked was an NFL player
ShawnKing865 retweeted
Shakira and J Lo at the Super Bowl was the closing ceremony of the planet and we really had no idea
ShawnKing865 retweeted
The older I get the more I side with the witches from fairy tales who moved out to the woods and killed someone who bothered them.
ShawnKing865 retweeted
Wear only a towel around your waist and you can get into just about anywhere if you just repeat "so sorry so sorry" and keep moving forward.





















