Kristina Funk retweeted
You CANNOT rage against the machine if you’re asking it to summarise your emails for you.
If they get rid of Wetherholt we riot #stlcards #wevebeenrebuildingfor20years
I’ve officially given up. Baseball and I are no longer friends
D-backs reportedly acquire OF Lars Nootbaar from Cardinals, per multiple reports including @MLBNetwork insider @JonHeyman.
(MLB x @CohnReznick)
Oh, like you don't already have EVERYTHING
Breaking: The Los Angeles Dodgers are acquiring Tarik Skubal for outfielder Zyhir Hope, right-hander River Ryan and right-hander Brady Smith, sources tell @JeffPassan.
Looking for an Easter miracle (that the rolls I was supposed to take out of the freezer to rise five hours ago suddenly become fully baked and ready to eat)
You know, of all the celebrities to roll into town, we HAD to get Reed Timmer, didn't we? #iykyk
Me: (sneeze)
Ben: Bless you.
Me: (sneeze number 2)
Ben: Bless you again.
Me: (sneeze number three) No, honey, it's okay. It's between me and God now.
Ben: Okay.
Me: (sneeze again)
Ben: I'm going to have to ask you to stop doing that.
Being married is fun sometimes.
I teach preschool Sunday school, and one of the things I teach my kids is that we should always use nice words with our friends. Another thing is, not every thought is an outside thought. If four-year-olds get it, why doesn't the president?
To quote Ted Mosby quoting Lethal Weapon to his kids: I’m too old for this stuff. #WorldSeries
Look, I’m gonna need Toronto to be awesome in the next half of the inning because I don’t want to look at Freddie Freeman anymore #WorldSeries
Well. I was pulling for Seattle based on my inexplicable yet intense dislike for Daulton Varsho. But I’m pulling for Toronto because I do not want the Dodgers to win one more thing
Kristina Funk retweeted
baseball is such a funny sport because you spend 7 straight months completely invested in a team and then the offense forgets how to hit in their biggest series in 8 years
Kristina Funk retweeted
I made this and will now be using it all the time
“There’s always going to be some speculation. I’m just tired and want to go home, dude. I’m at super peace with it."
Mike Shildt says his decision to retire from the Padres was his own, even as plenty of questions continue to swirl: nytimes.com/athletic/6715110…
Sinus infections are terrible. What, the common cold was too common? Allergy season is almost over and you're scared you won't have anything to do? HAVEN'T I SUFFERED ENOUGH???















