Grumpy Cat

REAL LOVE, Y U NO SEEM TO EXIST ANYMORE?

U ASKED FOR RIDE, Y U NO OFFER GAS MONEY?

PHONE, Y U NO COME WITH UNLIMITED BATTERY LIFE?

S[he] Beli[wantedasandwich]eved...

Reasons to date me: I laugh at my own jokes so you don't have to.

MATH, Y U NO SOLVE YOUR OWN PROBLEMS?

"teenage years are the best years of your life" you mean it gets worse

You say "tall redhead". I say "gingeraffe". They're basically the same thing.

I'm not saying I hate you, I'm just saying that if you got hit by a bus, I would be driving that bus.

No.

You're annoying me, go play in traffic.

Sometimes when I say "It's okay", I really mean "Go fuck yourself".

Rhinos are nothing but fat unicorns.

You don't know you're beautiful. Because you're not.

I can't go to school mom. The blankets have accepted me as one of their own. If I leave now I might lose their trust.

Hope you're all having a shitty day.

I'm in shape. The shape of a potato.

You're as much of a slut as a bowling ball. You get picked up, fingered, thrown down an alley and still come back for more.

Anything is possible? False. You can't ride a giraffe to the moon.

What do ducks smoke? Quack