Lone survivor of @mockeree. Only here by accident these days; I have gone to the good place. Fuck Elon.
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ALT Sam Neil as Alan Grant in Jurassic Park, standing in the rain next to an overturned jeep, waving a flare at a gigantic prancing Rachael ‘Raygun’ Gunn
ALT An orange-faced Muttley proudly pointing at the FIFA Peace Prize medal round his neck, just awarded to him by Dick Dastardly who’s holding the accompanying certificate. On a stand between them is the weirdly creepy trophy. I’ve no idea where they are but it looks like the Upside Down. I made this a week ago and just rediscovered it and yes, fuck it, here you go.
ALT A sketchy doodle, in black biro on a yellow post-it note, of a cat facing away from us to scratch the word TUESDAY into the side of a two-seater sofa. The word is broken over two lines, TUES and DAY, to fit, and the letters are formed from three or four close tagged lines to indicate claw marks. The cat is reaching up to put the finishing touches on the letter T (yes, he’s written it backwards (and yes, he is a he, because in my mind he’s my actual cat (although he doesn’t really look like it (and I really hope he hasn’t been doing that while I’ve been here at work (although if he has, I’m pleased with the improvement in his spelling))))).
ALT BBC breaking tv news story with the headline “Trump govt proves link between cretinism and Cuprinol” overlaid over a still of Trump leaning round the door of Air Force One to feed bullshit to journalists, now with a brush applying wood stain to his face. A sub-headline adds “Giephriepstin to be approved as treatment” (say it out loud if you don’t get it, but as an intelligent Mockeree follower you don’t need to be told that). The ticker at the bottom announces “Nothing bad can happen, it can only good happen”, as he said in the press conference to silence any doubts about his mental capacity. Full disclosure: I did nothing to change the colour of his face. The mahogany hue is all his. All I did was add the brush and the news stuff. (So you’d think I could’ve had this finished last night when it was still actually news, right? Yeah, well, all the time went on bad decisions and half-arsed Googling, which seems to be more of the job than the actual photoshopping these days.)
ALT Trump’s weird and creepy Epstein birthday note now written on the torso of the Venus de Milo
ALT I put my head down on a pad of lined A3 paper, with my left hand next to it, and drew round it with a biro in my right hand. I’ve then gone over it with a Sharpie for clarity. The result is a slightly wiggly outline of what looks like a falconry glove and a misshapen potato with a single giant ear. M’colleague Chantal says I look like the BFG.
