Michael 👨🏾‍💻

BREAKING: President Trump asks UFC CEO Dana White to be the next White House Press Secretary. Trump also asks Dana White to bring various UFC fighters with him to “defend us against the Lunatic Left.”

PEGGY!!!!!

Republican Senate nominee Mike Rogers appearing with Democrat U.S. Rep. Haley Stevens at Perfecting Church in Detroit

Fox: Why are you here this morning? Trump rally attendee: Well, in the late 70s, I was a little too young to go to South America for the Jonestown Massacre. But this is as close as I'll ever get, so that's why I'm here. There's nothing like seeing a cult right up front.

Trump: We were in the midst of negotiating and a lot of stupid people said why aren’t you putting Russian sanctions— Collins: But you said you didn’t give anything for his release Trump: If I didn’t do that, you wouldn’t have him coming back. Collins: So you did give something. Trump: You don’t know anything. You’re fake news CNN. Collins: You’re saying you lifted the sanctions in exchange for his release? Trump: You don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re a low IQ person. You’re a dummy.

Full version:

Breaking: After consultations with numerous doctors and experts that went into Saturday, the Eagles are placing quarterback Jalen Hurts on injured reserve, sources tell @rapsheet and me. The move will sideline Hurts indefinitely. More info to come.

Yes my name is Barflaan Tedoe cause I'm Liberian. One of the biggest immigrant communities in the Twin Cities. So I think I can speak on MN but... Horrible way to spell Madilyn tho

Q: How do you define socialism personally? JD VANCE: I think in reality what it actually means in the American context is you want to replace American workers with foreigners workers, and you want boys to play in girls' sports

Trump on Iran: Let 'em take out Los Angeles and San Diego, it's a small price to pay

Opus 5.5 on Max effort - "make a dynamic 15-second motion graphics video that shows what an incredible motion designer you are, like it's your showreel for a résumé. go all out."

BREAKING: President Trump publishes his “top 25 accomplishments of term three.”

Q: China is one of the most repressive countries for journalists in the world-- TRUMP: Well, I don't know about that. I think we're repressive also

Niggas really think there’s a world lil durk getting found not guilty LMAOOOO 💔💔💔

An update from PlayStation Studios: After careful consideration, we have made the difficult decision to step away from collaborating with KOJIMA PRODUCTIONS on its project PHYSINT. We continue to have great admiration for Hideo Kojima's vision for the game. Our relationship remains strong after three decades of industry-leading, genre-defining creative cooperation, and we look forward to continued close collaboration with Hideo Kojima and his award-winning independent studio in the future.

Trump: Ken Paxton, you might not like the way he dresses, and I say this, it's so insulting to him, but I might as well say it. You might not like the way he looks. You might not love his television interviews. But he was the best attorney general and that speaks a lot louder than the suit he's wearing that doesn't look so great or than anything, frankly.

Watters: You think it’s ok to slash a ding-a-ling off El-Sayed: Do you really want to have this conversation? Are you circumcised? Watters: Yeah El-Sayed: Then you probably want to move on.

Keep your problems smaller than your life. A flat tire is a flat tire. A bad meeting is a bad meeting. A canceled flight is just an extra two hours. These things become catastrophes when you let them. But they stay manageable when you remember the depth of your real life- the people you love, the work you care about, the beautiful years still ahead. Zoom out. Fit your reaction to the size of the problem.

Barack Obama turns 65 today.