im just a bit sad & lost my dog died of cancer, we put him down when he stopped eating & being able to move. loved him strongly 14 years. then as soon as that happened, my mom’s cancer landed her in the ER. she spent 1 week at the hospital. she had heart surgery to put in a window & remove fluid around her heart & lungs. there was a complication with the surgery, her tissue was too soft to suture. dr came out & was telling us they are gonna lose her. another dr. had his finger on the hole in my mom’s heart. luckily an experienced dr. recommend a patch to cover the hole that saved her life. but then she was in AFIB and was too weak to even get out of bed. spent another few days on drugs to shock her heart back into rhythm. now she has been discharged to a rehab facility. all this is happening in arkansas & im flying back & forth from chicago. my mom told me to make some Art. She is The artist. She is where i get it from. i tried to make art in my hotel room. i dunno anymore. i guess i don’t want to escape so hard into solana that i forget to spend time with my family. im not good at balance. i am an all or nothing type person. and i am in limbo. i am praying my mother gets to walk by herself again & we can spend more “normal” days together. questioning all my life decisions. i think you should just take care of yourself, noone else is going to. you are blessed with a body & you should love that sack of skin & fight for it too. stop killing yourself. the world will take care of that for you. give yourself a fighting chance at life for those who can’t get out of bed. be healthy. be good to your family. call your mother.